Too Much Pain In The World

Too Much Pain In The World
C

Coming-undone

Registrant
Its overwhelming.....I read about Jay's suicide and it really hit me that there is just too much fucking pain in the world. Over the past couple of years I have conversed with several of you about the question of why God would allow this kind of stuff to happen. My conclusion is that there is no answer. But I have also concluded that pain is our natural state. Whether the pain is from SA or one of many other sources. Pain is our natural state and it really sucks. It sucks to think that until the day we die, we will be in almost continuous pain with only a few brief flashes of joy. I'm not suicidal or anything, but life sucks!!!
 
Coming-Undone,

I am very sorry for the degree and amount of pain that you are in right now, and the pain you recognize in the world. I have spent some time living with chronic pain, both mental and physical, and yes, to use your word, it does 'suck'.

However, I must maintain hope for myself that there is a life ahead of me, within me, available to me, in which pain is the exception, not the norm. I do believe it is possible to heal, from all of the hurts inflicted upon us over the years. It is wrong that it is US who have to do the work to heal; that gets old, most certainly. However, that allows us to own our healing. So often, we feel the guilt that our abusers refuse to accept. We feel their shame. We own that, because we do not know any better, to be able to put it where it truly belongs. As we work toward our real, true selves, we will learn to put that guilt and shame on them, and to own ourselves, our healing, and our lives.

Please try to be gentle with yourself, and allow yourself to feel negative as well as positive things. I wish you well.

Leosha
 
comingundone,
life does suck sometimes, and usually it seems like it does it more often than not. those moments of joy are not as infrequent as it may seem in moments like this though. i know in the past two years of my life not a day has gone by that i have not been able to smile at the interaction between lady theo and i. not everyone is blessed as i am with such a wonderful lifemate, but even before i met her i found joy in quiet things like seeing the sparkle in the eyes of my young nieces and nephews, or that horizon i keep refering to. the pain we go through is intense, sometimes so intense we lose sight of everything but the pain. somehow though we move on. i expect i will be nosediving again as i continue my healing journey, but i believe i will never be alone again, and that helps.
 
CU,

When you look at your sons, do you think that they are destined to such a life? Or is it possible that with the kind of father that you should have had, their lives can be better than "almost continuous pain with only a few brief flashes of joy?"

There's no way to deny that pain exists and bad things happen. But we can rise above that. We can make the moments of joy that we need. We can learn to find joy in the simple moments of life with those we love.

None of us need live like our lives were just a series of unfortunate events. We have the power to choose what our lives will be now. We are not defenseless children before some sick adult.

My youngest son is about the age of your oldest. He (and his siblings) teach me a lot about how to find joy in the world. I bet your sons can show you some ways to enjoy the good things in life, too.

Thanks,

Joe
 
I'm not just talking about me and other SA survivors. Look at the papers, watch the news, you see it everywhere. Dictators raping, torturing, killing thier own citizens...Husbands killing their wives and children....Mom's driving their kids into lakes....kids ODing on drugs....gangs killing gangs ...drunk punks tying up and killing gay kids ...Dad's beating, shaking, killing babies ...Teachers molesting 6th grade boys ...on and on and on!!!!!

I think human beings are a scourge on the world!!!
 
CU,

If you look in some other places, you can see some other things. Look at the volunteers in your own community who help victims of crimes, help the homeless, help unwed mothers. There are many good people in leadership roles helping children. Look at the good pastors and scoutmasters and teachers and coaches. Look at the people who come here and help one another in difficult times.

Look at yourself helping someone :
Healing is real and life is real. I don't know if there is a God that created us, but I know that love is the most real thing of all. Without love, there is nothing worth living for.
Click to expand...
Love is out there. Perps may have distorted our views of it, but that doesn't mean we'll always have such distortions. And it doesn't mean it isn't there to find, when we know where to look.

You've inspired me, at any rate. Thank you for that.

Joe
 
CU,

Just a couple of thoughts. The first is a quote I read somewhere, but I don't have the citation.
God doesn't alllow these things to happen,
But He doesn't prevent them either.
God helps us endure them.
Click to expand...
The other thing is based on what Joe quoted from you.

I believe that what most call God is LIFE. I won't explain or defend or argue this point, it is what I believe, and I apologize if this idea offends anyone. Your ideas about God do not offend me.

I also think that Love is the purest, finest expression of Life and is everywhere around us, but we just don't usually notice it.

If we honor, preserve and protect Life, starting with our own, then Love is created and maintained. Life grows stronger and raises us all up.

It is a cycle and a spiral I am happy to be part of, as difficult as it can sometimes be.

Donald
 
Brother,

There is indeed too much pain in the world. Too meuch evil that happens. Too many innocents sacrificed for no Goddamn reason. Just plain f**king too much.

But, and I mean this only to play devil's advocate, not to say that pain and evil is a good thing, we have to wonder, how much good comes from evil?

Whenever a war happens, folks pitch in to help the survivors. When disaster strikes, many people roll up their sleeves and help out. When folks feel at the end of their rope from despair, someone else reaches out and gives them a reason to be.

There is a saying that goes something like, "without shadows, how can we know about the light?" I believe that the pain we all endure is the shadow, the hope we find and get from our resources is the light.

Every time another baby is born, God has rendered judgment on us, and found us worthy.

Every sunrise we see is prrof of life, and a testament to hope.

We cannot give in to despair, even when the b*****ds are winning, because to give up, give in, is to give THEM victory. Rising above the pain is our victory.

I truly am sad that Jay is gone, and I'll always treasure his memory, but I celebrate every day we gave him hope to carry on. I feel badly about his decision to give up, but there were other times he didn't, and that gives me hope through my bad times.

Remember hope whenever you feel pain. Hope and faith can get you through.

Peace and love. my friend,

Scot
 
Coming Undone -
I thought that everything was negative until I recently reached out!

There are now more people wanting to hold my hand than my hands have space for! I have only just realised that.

Hope you can feel that too... best wishes ...Rik
 
THere is too much pain in the world, in all forms. I agree pain does suck, we all live with pain, in some form that is true, but I must think that our natural state is not pain, that pain is forced upon us by the world, and other people. I must believe we are not meant to hurt, but there is just so much pain to go around we all feel it, and live through it. There is a lot of pain, but if there was no pain, we wouldn't know what happiness was, I believe pain is a part of the world for a reason, but I also believe much of the pain is caused by people, that the world's natural state is not pain, but that there are enough people out ther who 'broker pain' that it can seem overwhelming. I hope you can feel better and less hopeless soon.

scott
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top