Tonights the Big Night

Tonights the Big Night
G

Glen

Registrant
Tonight is the first night with the counselor. I am scared sh*&less. I know that I need to do this cause I have been feeling so hurt and alone these past few weeks. It helps being able to come here but lets face it the HURT is still there I still feel sick inside and did I mention I have a headache that wont stop. I feel like I have to do this otherwise its a complete no go. Lfe just cannot keep going the way that it was. I definitely have to do something here I feel as if my world is upside down. I can talk about what happened to me and I am starting to feel detached about it. Im scared I have tried the counselor thing before and Im still stuck. But this time it feels sooo different. In fact my whole world seems different. I just want the hurt to stop controlling my life the way that it does now. I pray to God for help but Im still overwhelmed by this inability to take care of myself or protect myself. God I need a little help here. Any suggestions? I feel like I am losing my mind.
 
Glen, I know you've done it before, but I really do think that a counselor is so very important to recovery. I guess, it's because I have been going to mine for over four years now (not a quick study here) that I think they are a wonderful help with recovery. I look at my sessions as a chance to let all my anxiety go and just talk openly about all of the hurt and the pain with someone who will understand and who will listen...without fear of what I am about to say. If you can (easy for me to say) try to look at it as a wonderful beginning...someone to help you get out of that place you dislike so much. We've all been where you are...as a matter of fact, I'm like a rubber ball and bounce back there from time to time...and know that it can and will get better. Good luck. I've said a prayer for you...so it has to be all right. Bobby
 
Just do it, you are ready. Therapy didn't work for me about two or three times in my life, but you have to be ready to heal.

Let us know how you do. I think your head will be in ten different directions and you won't know if you are crying because you are happy, relieved, or sad.

But I think you will feel a lot better no matter what happens.
 
Glen,

Good luck with therapy. I wish you the best.

My first two were busts. I was sent there and wanted nothing to do with it, so I didn't, I just sat there for 45-60 minutes. What a waste of time, soley because I didn't want to be there.

The third time I sought out therapy, I wanted it and I grabbed onto the idea. For that I got something out of it. At the same time I had the misfortune of taking my son to therapy. His therapist had me about to check myself into the phospital. I fired him and the problem instantly went away.

So what I am saying, want it and take full advantage of it and you will get something out of it. If you found a bad one, don't be afraid to fire him.
 
I saw a female T for about seven years. She is retiring soon, which I hate to see. We never met my original objective, though the sessions helped a lot. I asked her why she never seemed to probe deeper into the specific abuse issues and her answer was that I set the agenda every time. So when you do this, and you are setting the agenda for these sessions, give some thought to what you want to focus on. However, it may be that you work on different things than you orignally thought were your focus, and that may be the approach needed. In my case, we worked on relational issues mostly, which had to be fixed before the other stuff could be reached. After all, if I can't trust or open up to people, how am I gonna share the weightier matters with others?
 
It went pretty good I guess all things considered. I was so proud of the fact that I didnt cry. I hate it when I cry. He told me that he was gonna consult with another Dr. To see if there was someone better suited to my needs. So we will see what that brings.
He also wants me to go to a support group as well.
 
Very good!

I didn't cry till a little ways (edit: a long way really) into therapy. My therapist and I kind of laughed about it later, she says that early on she got nuthin out of me, no emotion. I learned to cry, I got it out...

Now I laugh


a lot


:D :cool:
 
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