to file or not

to file or not
H

hemi1024

Registrant
I was sexualy abused by this individual from the time I was 9 untill I was 12. There was one time that we ended up his boyfriends house ans his friend was in the bedroom naked waiting for me. I walked into the room and he began going down my pants and then undressing me and fondling me while my perp watched and I fely very shamed dirty and used.I have been raped in my sleep wake up with my perp over me in my bed and him stroking me and going down on me.I have never filed a police report but this week is the turning point for me. There proberly will have to be more than one for the abuse happened in three different states. I also know that there will be no justice done for the statue of limations has run out but at the least I will feel better knowing that something was done because this S.O.B was a male nurse and I know that I was not his first for one night he bought some wine and invited my friend over for the night. I tried to talk my friend out of comming over but it was no use.My friend had a very close relationship with his mother and he told her of what my perp tried to do to him as she worked with him in the hospital.But what realy burns me up is that after all was said and done nobody made any effert to file a report go to the police. My own father did nothing after i told him of this.My perp also made me go down on him. I was sickened by this and tried to pull away but aws un able to.I was a very scared little boy who I hated you wimp do something but no day after day the same thing. sorry for the long post
 
Hemi,
If this is something that will help the healing, go for it. There are guys on here with great advice to help you. Please don't apologise for the long post...it's NOT long and you need to get it out. You are not a wimp - you were a scared little boy and did what you needed to survive. There was nothing you could do but survive. The adults around you let you down. That's very sad. Take care of yourself now.
Paul
 
Hemi,

Even if the cops can't press charges, they can alert Childrens' Protective Services if your perp is still alive. By reporting, you will be protecting future children from being molested by your perp. Food for thought.
 
Hemi,

If it will help you and if it's something you feel you SHOULD do, then by all means report the guy. As Nobby says, it will at least be a heads-up for the police.

I also want to echo what Paul has said. You were in no way a wimp. Abuse is all about a more powerful person exploiting the advantage he/she has over a kid for their own sexual amusement, and there is usually nothing a kid can do about it.

You may THINK now of options you can see as an adult, but it's not fair to judge yourself as a kid according to possibilities you only now see as an adult. Do you remember even thinking the word "no"? I didn't. I felt scared, confused, alone, and ashamed. And what did I do? I froze, cried, and did what he wanted.

For so many boys this scenario gets played out over and over again. But no matter how often it happens, it isn't, and can NEVER be, the boy's fault.

Much love,
Larry
 
I know that I sure felt a lot better when I filed a police report against my ex. I asked the police if I could file without pressing charges, which I did. It took me weeks to write the report, because I could only write a little at a time. My situation is a little different than yours, in that you were a child, and I was an adult. Filing was a turning point for my recovery.
 
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