To All Survivors

To All Survivors
B

blueyes25

Registrant
May I just ask what is was that you needed most when going through this, from a partner or friend?

Did you avidly push love away? Did you let it back in to your heart? Did you/do you understand it?

Did you give up a relationship b/c you felt you couldn't heal unless you were alone? Did you ever regret it?

I know these are lots of questions. I guess, as a partner, I am just looking for some insight. Maybe, not all of these questions apply to you, but if you had any insight about just one or two - I would be so happy to hear about it.

Thank you all, in advance :)

Blue
 
i know in my case in order to protect myself i shut everyone out ,shut everything out ,by doing that i avoided the bad things but i also missed out on many good things ,i regret that very much ,i had some good foster parents ,but i was hurt and pisssed at the world so i pushed everyone away ,i didnt need anyone or anyone's help . i didnt deserve help .shadow
 
If someone showed me a reason to trust them, I would try and find 2 reasons not to!

If I couldn't find any reason not to trust them, then I would make one up and see what reaction I got! If I got the wrong reaction, then I couldn't trust them.

There are people in my life now that I do trust, though I sometimes still try to convince myself that I shouldn't!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Unconditional love and acceptance. Without doubt.

Despite my own feelings being able to see that in anothers eyes gave me great strength.

Peace.
 
Unconditional love and support from friends, family or your partner can be powerful healing forces. Two of the issues we all face as male survivors are vulnerabilty and the breach of trust. Where you are in the healing process and the circumstances of your abuse dictate whether these issues may contaminate the waters of any relationship you try to enagage in.
In my case family contact was non-existent due to their denial of what happened to me. I stumbled through a series of bad relationships including one with another survivor. In the end my friends and my T have been the saving grace in my life.
John
 
Blue,

One thing I have learned to appreciate from my wife is her honesty. She doesn't put up with any crap at all! She loves me to bits, I know that. And when I need to talk she's there for me and she does her best to understand and support me.

But she lets me know when I am out of line or getting unreasonable, and I have come to see that a lot of the bickering we used to do was just her demanding that her boundaries and needs be respected. I need to hear that.

What this means is that it has been easier to trust her and accept her as my closest ally in recovery. I know that what I will hear from her will always be the truth as she sees it, even if it hurts.

Hope this helps you.

Much love,
Larry
 
Thank you all so much for your input - it helps to know where you are coming from - so that I know where I should be coming from. You all are such an inspiration to be doing what you are doing to heal your spirits and yourselves. I am going to pass along this website to my b/f in hopes that it can help him along in his own personal journey. Thank you so much!
 
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