title
TheNewMason
Registrant
so i have been sitting here for a few minutes trying to come up with a subject and couldnt do it so i just wrote title. anyway...
so ive been coming here for a couple of weeks now and it seems like im always hanging out in the chat room. what im realizing tho is that im doing in there, what i do in real life, which is to front everything with a smile and a sassy remark. i do that because part of me wants you all to like me, and the other part doesn't want to really admit that im not okay or that i'm going to crack. its hard for me to sit here and write about my feelings. i need to keep this facade that i am great and perfect and i have done so for so long.
whenever im going through a rough patch in my life i get a little crazy. i start having more anonomous sex or start using drugs again. and i have lately. like, last night i went out after work to a bar and ended getting a blowjob. part of me likes that i can walk into a bar and have whoever i want, but the other part wishes that no one would want me in a sexual way so i wouldnt have to make that choice. when faced with it, im always going to opt on the side of sex.
so im trying to reach out for a little more support i guess. the one thing i hate above all others tho is people feeling sorry for me or whatever. i hate pity. so i have no idea where my new approach to this room will take me and i have no idea what might come out of it. dont worry im still going to have my off comments and sassy remarks i just need to focus on me a little bit more.
so ive been coming here for a couple of weeks now and it seems like im always hanging out in the chat room. what im realizing tho is that im doing in there, what i do in real life, which is to front everything with a smile and a sassy remark. i do that because part of me wants you all to like me, and the other part doesn't want to really admit that im not okay or that i'm going to crack. its hard for me to sit here and write about my feelings. i need to keep this facade that i am great and perfect and i have done so for so long.
whenever im going through a rough patch in my life i get a little crazy. i start having more anonomous sex or start using drugs again. and i have lately. like, last night i went out after work to a bar and ended getting a blowjob. part of me likes that i can walk into a bar and have whoever i want, but the other part wishes that no one would want me in a sexual way so i wouldnt have to make that choice. when faced with it, im always going to opt on the side of sex.
so im trying to reach out for a little more support i guess. the one thing i hate above all others tho is people feeling sorry for me or whatever. i hate pity. so i have no idea where my new approach to this room will take me and i have no idea what might come out of it. dont worry im still going to have my off comments and sassy remarks i just need to focus on me a little bit more.
