Tired of misandry in the media

Silverhand

Registrant
Everything that you are saying is true. It can certainly happen with any group. The problem is that feminists pretend they’re fine, and that only people who want to deny equality to women would ever raise concerns or question them.
I mostly agree here. Yes, it is frustrating that some feminists are too eager to dismiss any critique as being a disingenuous pretext for misogyny. But I would counter that most ideologies contain some fanatic faction that regards any critiques of their philosophy/ethos/worldview as inherently false because it challenges what they already "know" to be true. On the other hand (and perhaps this is what you had in mind), certain ideologies (including feminism at the moment) seem to get a pass on such fanatic zeal, while others are condemned for similar practices.
 

.aseity

Registrant
Generally, we all tend to believe information that confirms are pre-existing beliefs and disbelieve information that conflicts with those assumptions.
Would this classify as dissonance?
Some teaching professionals let that spill-over into how they grade. They assume that work that supports their view must have been done correctly, but research or a thesis that contradicts them must be flawed.
;is the along the lines of complacency or more along the lines of sociopathy or narcissism?

I am interested in the ideas of cognitive flexibility, when an individual completely switches their mindset to change the outcome of a situation. I read a bit about it last year while exploring criminal behaviors.

There was an example about a lady dressed in jogging suit; she had planned to break into a suburban house during the day whilst everyone was gone. The house alarm went off and the authorities arrived to the breaking & entering. She quickly changed her narrative to a jogger who was passing by and happen to wander into the house out of concern and curiosity. This woman slipped right past law enforcement by " cognitive flexibility"; as the article suggested. She was later discovered on the house camera.

It is fascinating to keep up with these pivotal manipulations, but frustrating to encounter.

There is some separations between cognitive dissonance and flexibility. It just depends what position the individual is in; restricted in their self awareness by possessive beliefs, or to have self awareness that acts on obsessive critical thinking while pursuing their secret goals. Both very interesting
 

Celtaf

Registrant
I mostly agree here. Yes, it is frustrating that some feminists are too eager to dismiss any critique as being a disingenuous pretext for misogyny. But I would counter that most ideologies contain some fanatic faction that regards any critiques of their philosophy/ethos/worldview as inherently false because it challenges what they already "know" to be true. On the other hand (and perhaps this is what you had in mind), certain ideologies (including feminism at the moment) seem to get a pass on such fanatic zeal, while others are condemned for similar practices.

Maybe I’m missing something here, but can you name one popular feminist who does any of the following?

1. Expresses concern for men or boys
2. Expresses concerns about abusive women as a demographic
3. Expresses concern about bad behaviours in women without blaming men?

I can name them, and they’re all feminist heretics, denounced in some cases as not even being real feminists. Camille Paglia, Heather MacDonald, Christina Hoff Somers, Erin Pizzey. These women are capable of the amazing trait of believing that concern for men and boys does not cancel concern for women and girls, but actually encourages equality.

The concern I am addressing is a general tendency within the movement. Of course it is also encouraged, because feminism is generally a brand. The brand is generally about empowering women. I would not mind that, except that feminists and their allies outright attack any effort to openly focus on male survivors save as a weird, miserable fringe movement.
 

Celtaf

Registrant
Would this classify as dissonance?

;is the along the lines of complacency or more along the lines of sociopathy or narcissism?

I am interested in the ideas of cognitive flexibility, when an individual completely switches their mindset to change the outcome of a situation. I read a bit about it last year while exploring criminal behaviors.

There was an example about a lady dressed in jogging suit; she had planned to break into a suburban house during the day whilst everyone was gone. The house alarm went off and the authorities arrived to the breaking & entering. She quickly changed her narrative to a jogger who was passing by and happen to wander into the house out of concern and curiosity. This woman slipped right past law enforcement by " cognitive flexibility"; as the article suggested. She was later discovered on the house camera.

It is fascinating to keep up with these pivotal manipulations, but frustrating to encounter.

There is some separations between cognitive dissonance and flexibility. It just depends what position the individual is in; restricted in their self awareness by possessive beliefs, or to have self awareness that acts on obsessive critical thinking while pursuing their secret goals. Both very interesting
Sure, this is a natural tendency. Overwhelmingly, we are social beings, searching for identifiers to make sense of things. At the same time, we need to be able to adapt to new situations, so we are always ready to adjust to social circumstances.
 

.aseity

Registrant
I think I am drawn into this discussion because I myself struggle to identify who I am in the description and designation of my words and actions.

I was told by my wife last night that I don't realize how much I accomplish. Like providing for a family household of 10 for about 5 years give or take. .. I never point this out to myself but it is easier for me to point at what I need to do or critique my performance or flaws. Because for 6 years I have never taken entitlement to suddenly transforming into a financial provider.

I suppose I am really curious about this little window between worlds;
miserable fringe movement.
That women utilize a situation to pin any leverage oven a man for their sense of dominion or superiority or justification ect. Furthermore how passively they are being accepted in their display of power, as the world watch " man " display power.

Ultimately there is belonging and entitlement in this, when the lines are blurred, women also have masculine qualities and men also have feminine qualities. This is duality of nature in all people.

More in focus to the discussion. I myself am incredibly pinned uncomfortable by misandry. Even when men act as feminist or detest their masculinity. I get uncomfortably confused in situations where I feel obligated to stick up my myself based on my natural characteristics, but I fail to present relevant and logical statements for an argument. This carries the extra blow and makes me feel " pinned down " that I can't stand up and tell a person they are wrong. I get upset that I give more room to misandrist by enabling their obsessive point of view.

Many times it is unsure to me whether a misandrist is going to feel pity or remorse when looking down upon me. This weighs on my heart. I have witnessed changes in people, men and women. That little window of change. I have seen abusers stop in their tracks and look at themselves.

Due to my childhood I had a tendency to avoid encountering women, later I developed avoidance of men as well. Then later try to heal those distances for my own sake, but I have found myself beneath an abuser and their anger. I have looked down the barrels of guns and the blades of knives, with no resistance or alternative. I am still here, and developed the coping response to not struggle their messed up expressions. Like a lamb in the teeth of a lion, alive but graceful once caught.
This makes me feel both right and wrong with myself. I can not continue to submit under the will of these forceful people because each time I let them see the way they treat me, and they can figure the rest out by themselves. I survived with another scar or imprinted damages to my character. In the end I am just depersonalized, and conflicted.

Everyone is right and no one is sorry. I have forgiven the trespasses/ers but I still live with the consequences of my actions. The faults of my character.
I don't do well with confrontation, and I have a hard time being conflicted. I don't know how to discuss a person's behavior and reach mutual conclusion. I am working on being more dominant , but to reach a balance with my submission , hopefully so I can stand tall and unwavering. (In short, I am reclusive, but enduring.)
Grateful to have peer support right now. I find these discussions incredibly valuable to my boyhood. Meaningful to my adolescence. Crucial for my manhood. So I thank you :) be well safe travels
 

.aseity

Registrant
Those who take without asking and feel too important to signify the error of their way; will take and not feel remorse. Leaving us for dead. No one should have to bow before oppression, but it's being lived and broken across generations and borders. Who knows how events will turn out.
 

Celtaf

Registrant
I think I am drawn into this discussion because I myself struggle to identify who I am in the description and designation of my words and actions.

I was told by my wife last night that I don't realize how much I accomplish. Like providing for a family household of 10 for about 5 years give or take. .. I never point this out to myself but it is easier for me to point at what I need to do or critique my performance or flaws. Because for 6 years I have never taken entitlement to suddenly transforming into a financial provider.

I suppose I am really curious about this little window between worlds;

That women utilize a situation to pin any leverage oven a man for their sense of dominion or superiority or justification ect. Furthermore how passively they are being accepted in their display of power, as the world watch " man " display power.

Ultimately there is belonging and entitlement in this, when the lines are blurred, women also have masculine qualities and men also have feminine qualities. This is duality of nature in all people.

More in focus to the discussion. I myself am incredibly pinned uncomfortable by misandry. Even when men act as feminist or detest their masculinity. I get uncomfortably confused in situations where I feel obligated to stick up my myself based on my natural characteristics, but I fail to present relevant and logical statements for an argument. This carries the extra blow and makes me feel " pinned down " that I can't stand up and tell a person they are wrong. I get upset that I give more room to misandrist by enabling their obsessive point of view.

Many times it is unsure to me whether a misandrist is going to feel pity or remorse when looking down upon me. This weighs on my heart. I have witnessed changes in people, men and women. That little window of change. I have seen abusers stop in their tracks and look at themselves.

Due to my childhood I had a tendency to avoid encountering women, later I developed avoidance of men as well. Then later try to heal those distances for my own sake, but I have found myself beneath an abuser and their anger. I have looked down the barrels of guns and the blades of knives, with no resistance or alternative. I am still here, and developed the coping response to not struggle their messed up expressions. Like a lamb in the teeth of a lion, alive but graceful once caught.
This makes me feel both right and wrong with myself. I can not continue to submit under the will of these forceful people because each time I let them see the way they treat me, and they can figure the rest out by themselves. I survived with another scar or imprinted damages to my character. In the end I am just depersonalized, and conflicted.

Everyone is right and no one is sorry. I have forgiven the trespasses/ers but I still live with the consequences of my actions. The faults of my character.
I don't do well with confrontation, and I have a hard time being conflicted. I don't know how to discuss a person's behavior and reach mutual conclusion. I am working on being more dominant , but to reach a balance with my submission , hopefully so I can stand tall and unwavering. (In short, I am reclusive, but enduring.)
Grateful to have peer support right now. I find these discussions incredibly valuable to my boyhood. Meaningful to my adolescence. Crucial for my manhood. So I thank you :) be well safe travels

Taking out of the abstract context that is often there, let us put it like this: men in our circle have a concern where they are survivors of abuse. None of us want the world to stop or for no one else to speak of what troubles them. What we want is to express our concerns and fears and to find, within that, a path towards wholeness and healing. Generally, feminists refuse to permit this when women are mentioned as agents of harm towards men. Not all women, mind, but some women, enough that they can be called a category called "female abusers". Furthermore, there are also "female enablers" of male abuse.

There is an interestingly famous example of this. In the film Hillbilly Elegy, a boy grows up with an abusive, mentally ill mother. At one point, he flees from her because she's hitting him, and tries to get someone at a house to call the police. When the police come, by this time, his grandparents have arrived, and his grandmother urges him to "do the right thing" which is to lie to the police and say that he was mistaken. Let the family deal with it. The family, of course, never does. The mother feels perfectly justified in attacking her son. The family supports her in abusing her son. I have yet to see someone in the mainstream media or among feminists observe that this is one of the most troubling parts of the story. Yet any depiction of an abused female is applauded as though no one had ever told such a story and had it recognized before. Most reviews and discussions of this story are simply about whether it is true or not and whether or not it reflects life in the Appalachian region of the USA.

That is just one example. A real world one is that there was one male domestic violence shelter in my city, which was also a counseling center for men who were survivors of childhood sexual abuse. When it was first opened, it was done against protest; it would not have enough men wanting to use its services, it was argued; it would take away from women needing services. Immediately, after opening, it had to put men on a waiting list for counseling. It ran out of funding and had to be shut down. There are still services to provide women with shelter and counseling. There should be such services for women; there should also be such services for men.

Studies over the last 20 years offer the information that while women tend to form a greater percentage of victims of things like abuse, men are not as far behind as people have thought. (For example, one in three women may experience domestic abuse, but one in five men do. One in four girls may experience CSA, but one in six boys do.) So why is this still being pushed by feminists as being something that overwhelmingly is inflicted on females, rather than on people?

These reasons alone are reasons to criticize feminist rhetoric.
 
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