Tired of being alone in my thoughts

Tryingtolive

Registrant
No one to share my thoughts with.
Tired of the self pitty.
The fear.
All things I won’t let go.
Minor improvemts but setbacks on setbacks.
In a place of a sad reality.
Just how pathetic and lonely I am.
In the midst of it all pretending to be normal on the surface.
Loud inside voices telling me iam a failure.
Not deserving of love.
Or to even try.
Damn is it hard to keep going.
Blame My family to lead me down this fucked up path of mine and the mind set I have.
I not only avoid people, places, friends, but goals and activities.
It’s easy for me to fall victim.
Or continue to be.
I’ve made drastic changes to my physical appearance.
Hoping someone would notice.
I’m not right but I try to be.
Just want to a friend or someone I can tell my burden too.
With out being labeled everything in the book.
The back lash id receive wouldn’t even be worth it.
I just know I’m wasting time.
And see no other option.
Something needs to change.
Idk how to began.
My abuser constantly around me.
Idk how to even be myself.
Or at least express who iam.
A family so perfect to the outside but for me it’s so far from it.
I just let time go by.
Hoping for something to happen.
Whether it be good or bad idk.
Being a pessimist really don’t have to many positives.
I don’t like money.
Material things.
I just want to be at peace.
Free from my story.
The story no one knows about.
But I continue to act accordingly.
Cause being comfortable is hard to keep working at.
 

EQCR

Registrant
You are not alone. You DESERVE love. We all do. No matter what, you deserve to be loved. If you haven't been diagnosed with depression or something similar I suggest you get an appointment with a psychological services provider, I am afraid for you. Please know that you are loved here, no matter what, and your voice is wanted. If you are in crisis please get help right away. Don't wait, you are worth it. We all are.
 
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