Tiny Steps To Victory

Tiny Steps To Victory
S

Splitting

Registrant
I am nortorious for downplaying anything positive that I accomplish in life. It is a familiar story, we receive praise and we automatically believe that the praise giver MUST be an idiot, or if they could only see the real us they would take it back, etc. Well that is ending.

I started looking at how I treat my daughter when she tries something new. Even if the entire process is unsuccessful, I will find that one small thing at went well and praise her for the effort and the victory. Developmentally, there are parts of me that are her age (3-6). I think i is about time I start giving them their deserved praises. Forgive me for boasting here.

On two separate occassions I stood up to my wife (separated) and stood my ground. Without being defensive or angry. I actually showed respect for her feelings. It has been a good day.

Now if I just had feelings it would be perfect.

Have a great day everyone!

Danny
 
Danny,
I can relate to having difficulty accepting praise. When I was young, I could never do anything right according to my mother. And anytime I tried to take pride in something I did, I was torn down, told that something was wrong.

I am glad you are taking time to praise yourself for accomplishments. It's something I still have trouble doing.

Jeff
 
when you see yourself in such a negative way it is hard to see any good in yourself. we have all done good things in life. no life is beyond doing exciting and worthy things. it is important to realize those are as much a part of yourself as anything. i am glad you can begin to see that you are worthy and have done good things worthy of being praised for. that is a sure sign your esteem is coming up. esteem is where the strength to be happy in life comes from, in my opinion.
 
Danny,

That's great news. We all deserve to celebrate our victories, great and small, but as survivors we often find it so easy to diminish those triumphs.

I like the way you connect this with feelings, because really, that's the next step. Once we realize that our lives are not about nothing but defeats and failures, it becomes easier to allow ourselves to FEEL again. After all, why should I care about feeling if that will just hurt me further?

In my own case, it was when I realized that my feelings were the key to my recovery that I could really get down to the hard work of healing. I had to recognize that my feelings aren't good and bad, true or false, they just ARE. Whatever they were, I could throw them up on the table, as it were, talk about them, and turn them into tools for my recovery.

I wish you all the best as you move into this exploration. It can be very scary, yes, but it's here that we have to begin.

Much love,
Larry
 
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