Time off

[MikeNY]

I'm going to try to take some time off. I'll still be here and working on some things. It just seems that everytime I say something lately I just put my foot in my mouth. I know that some people have been hurt at different times by me doing this. To those of you that I have done this to, I am very sorry. There have been many times since I've come here that I just don't feel like I belong. Mostly because many of you have been through so much more than I have. From talking to people and reading articles and posts, I do know that I do belong here. Most of the time, I just don't feel like I do. I will continue to come here. I will continue to try to help. I just need to take a step back for a little while. I still wonder if I've done more harm than good since being here because I can't fully understand or relate to many of the things that you have gone through. Lately, I never seem to know what to say to anyone.
To all of you who have helped me, I thank you. I truly appreciate it.

 

[The Dean]

Mike, you very much belong here and we are happy you are here.

We are all at different places even at differing times of a day. So what you say that is pure wisdom to me, might strike someone else as negative. So what we do is honestly let people here know how we are feeling at the time. Just like you have just done.

So, do what you need for your own feeling of safety and well being. But do not stay away because something you said was "putting your foot in your mouth" because that very same statement may have been exactly what another person needed to hear at that time..

One thing some men occasionally say about us here is that we do not challenge each other enough. Well, I think we hesitate to do that because we don't really know whether a challenge is really needed or would help. There is a difference between being caustic and being honest. If someone was offended, or not helped by something that you said they can pm you and get it settled--which often turns out to be very helpful to all concerned. This is not group therapy. But we can be helpful to each other when we speak honestly to each other. PM is the best way to clear up disagreements and misunderstandings.

Staying away from speaking what is on our minds lessens the value of this site--although, we of course need to be sensitive to each other.

Take care Mike.

Bob