[TIGGERS] Going under the Knife
[TIGGERS] Going under the Knife
I cant live this way any longer so I have desided to have my left testicle removed on Monday. I have been thinking about doing this for the last 4 years. Have been to 4 different doctors and nolthing has helped with the pain.
Below is a post I made last year in June when i was thinking about this. Thanks for all your help on this. Know I am doing the right thing now. Time to move on.
Tom
June 2005
Traveled to La Crosse today to have an altra sound and talk with the specialist. Here 44 years after the abuse and I am still feeling pain from what was done to me. Below is a bit of my story.
Toms scrotum problems began in May 1961 at the age of 11. While being rape by Father Ryan his parish priest Tom tried to escape. That made Father super mad and he grabbed Toms scrotum.
Shut Up and Stop That Father said as he crushed down on Toms testicles.
Tom all most pasted out from the pain he was feeling. Tom froze with fear as Father finished raping him.
I had 6 different operations from age 15-30 to correct the damage done by Father Ryan. I am sterile unable to father children because he crushed the tube that carries the sperm out of the testicles. Now at 55 all the scars from being cut open 6 times are inflamed most every day. The meds help some days but most are pain felled.
The last doctor I saw recommends that I have my left testicle removed to live without pain. If I were a normal man my right side would make enough testosterone. But I am not normal. A little more of my story
At 12 years old Toms left testicle grows big and the right does not grow at all. Tom becomes the freak in the locker room as other boys make fun of his huge left testicle. Tom drops out of sports.
The altra sound today showed that the right side is 1/4 the size of my left. It is still an 11yo boys testicle and it will not produce enough testosterone. I would have to go into the doctor every 2 weeks to get a shot if I remove the left side.
Somedays like today it feels as if Father Ryan is reaching up from HELL to crab hold of me again. Still cant get the fucker out of my life.
Guess I will just have to learn to live with the pain. Sure I am not alone, beat half my brothers here still have effects from the abuse. Tom
I cant live this way any longer so I have desided to have my left testicle removed on Monday. I have been thinking about doing this for the last 4 years. Have been to 4 different doctors and nolthing has helped with the pain.
Below is a post I made last year in June when i was thinking about this. Thanks for all your help on this. Know I am doing the right thing now. Time to move on.
Tom
June 2005
Traveled to La Crosse today to have an altra sound and talk with the specialist. Here 44 years after the abuse and I am still feeling pain from what was done to me. Below is a bit of my story.
Toms scrotum problems began in May 1961 at the age of 11. While being rape by Father Ryan his parish priest Tom tried to escape. That made Father super mad and he grabbed Toms scrotum.
Shut Up and Stop That Father said as he crushed down on Toms testicles.
Tom all most pasted out from the pain he was feeling. Tom froze with fear as Father finished raping him.
I had 6 different operations from age 15-30 to correct the damage done by Father Ryan. I am sterile unable to father children because he crushed the tube that carries the sperm out of the testicles. Now at 55 all the scars from being cut open 6 times are inflamed most every day. The meds help some days but most are pain felled.
The last doctor I saw recommends that I have my left testicle removed to live without pain. If I were a normal man my right side would make enough testosterone. But I am not normal. A little more of my story
At 12 years old Toms left testicle grows big and the right does not grow at all. Tom becomes the freak in the locker room as other boys make fun of his huge left testicle. Tom drops out of sports.
The altra sound today showed that the right side is 1/4 the size of my left. It is still an 11yo boys testicle and it will not produce enough testosterone. I would have to go into the doctor every 2 weeks to get a shot if I remove the left side.
Somedays like today it feels as if Father Ryan is reaching up from HELL to crab hold of me again. Still cant get the fucker out of my life.
Guess I will just have to learn to live with the pain. Sure I am not alone, beat half my brothers here still have effects from the abuse. Tom