thread closed

[Born to Resist]

Hard to answer. My initial reaction is that he needs to take ownership and take a look around on his own. Definitely explain to him to avoid the stories section and posts that have the word Trigger in them. The first time I looked at this discussion board I hot overwhelmed and didn't come back for 3 months, but only to read not post.

After my initial reaction, I thought of this possible idea. Ask him what type of questions he would like to ask other survivors or what information he would hope to find out. I think you could do a search for similar questions or topics and select threads to print out or cut in past into a document to send him. This way he begins to get information that he is curious about in safe way to avoid triggers. But eventually he'll just have to get on the discussion board and navigate it himself. There's only so many times you can do this for him and he needs to take ownership.

Hopefully others will post more insightful comments

Courage-Spirituality-Wisdom

 

If I could address your guy personally I would say this....

"You dont know me, I dont know you but we share something in common. I was raped and sexually abused by my father for roughly 10 years. Since the cessation of the abuse I have tried so many methods of dealing with what happened to me.

I tried drink, drugs, violence, crime. I tried running, I tried hiding and none of it worked.

The only thing that worked for me is talking. Getting out whats inside.

I use a website called MALESURVIVORS. A lot of what is said there I feel is nonsense, perhaps 60%.

However, the remaining 40% is so useful and relevant to me personally that I now find myself far more together than ever before.

Why? Because talking to people who actually understand how I think and feel is like free therapy, it fact its better than therapy.

This means I am less of a burden on my wife and friends. Of course they want to help me, but they will never fully understand what I have been through. Only another man who has been raped and abused can understand what that does to you.

I recommend you come to https://www.malesurvivor.org and have a look around.

You can come here anonymously, no one will ever know you'be been because you can read all the posts without registering.

I think you will notice that there are many many men from all over the world who share the same problems as you do.

I have made friends from many countries, all people I dont know and will never meet. BUT THEY UNDERSTAND ME and I ubderstand them.

This site only works because we need people like you. Just as you need people like us.

Free group therapy, when you like, as often as you like with 100% anonymity.

Venting all my crap, negative baggage on this site allows me to live a more fulfilled life. Even though I dont know you and probably never will, I wish that for you. I wish that you can someday share the lessons you have learned with others and through that, find peace.

You are not alone, not even for one minute must you think that.

With Respect

JapanZen"

Soapy, if that goes down well, introduce him to me via google search, UK pages only.