Thoughts on "Moving on"

[Douglas]

Hi Folks,

it's been ages since I posted here.

Pet Peeve time: one of the things that I find so intolerable in hearing from others who haven't experienced SA is the well-intentioned advice of "moving on," or "getting past it."

IMO, there is no such thing as moving on, or getting past it. SA happened and what happened cannot unhappen. As such, trying to "put things in the past" is a futile exercise. We may be more than the sum total of our experiences, but they do have an impact and you can't just walk away from that.

"OK, swell," you say, "Now what?"

I think that what needs to happen is the SA needs to be incorporated into our lives in such a way that it no longer has the negative effects it once had. It, like the virus of a vaccination, needs to be sterilized so that it can no longer harm us, and might actually do some good.

"Swell again," you think. So you ask, "and just how does one go about accomplishing this?"

"Well damn," says I. "I was on a roll there until we got to this point."

-- Doug

 

[Michael]

Don't we get past it by doing just what we do here?

Talk about it, how it affects us, the actions it causes, and then try to eliminate the harm in the present and future for ourselves and loved ones.

Only be understanding the past can we change the future.

Sounds simple, but it is the hardest thing any of us will ever do.

 

[Bill_1965]

Originally posted by Douglas:
Pet Peeve time: one of the things that I find so intolerable in hearing from others who haven't experienced SA is the well-intentioned advice of "moving on," or "getting past it."

IMO, there is no such thing as moving on, or getting past it.

It's more of getting through it. Through working through your feelings and misprogramming. An understanding of your feelings and how to control them. It's a long and bumpy road but definately doable.

Take care.

the edit - welcome back

the edit, part 2 - fixed the [/i]

 

[Mike Church]

Hey guys. No need to be stuck on the last part. It is the hardest I know but here is a url that might provide a bit of enlightenment;

https://malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=004822