Thoughts on how we were groomed
Hey pow
I think that's great to be able to bring your perp to justice. I'm sorry that you're not feeling well with what's going on with your situation but I hope that destroying your perp in court will help you heal.
It is easy for me as a person who was abused to say to someone that you weren't responsible for what you went through but I still blame myself for being responsible for most of what went on in my childhood. I say that because I can see the small facts of the what things were happening for me whereas I can only look at your situation as a whole without the small reasons for you saying that you still hold yourself responsible for what you did. My T and many members here have asked me many times what would I think if someone was doing the same thing to my kids as what happened between me and papasan. Of course I would say it's wrong but I feel that the circumstances were different with me. I don't know if that makes much sense.
For instance I feel responsible for the year of hell I went through when I was 14. I was offered to do some modeling for magazines and such but I ended up in porn magazines and not Macy's adverts. Movies were made and photos taken of me. That included many hours every week plus well over 100 photos taken of me every week on Tuesdays after school. I feel responsible for the simple reason that I said yes to the offer and nobody told me to. In fact papasan told me never do anything without asking him first, so I wasn't listening to him and therefore I made my own decision.
I also feel that it was my decision to stay with papasan because I loved him as my father and I was willing to do what he wanted.
Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
I think that's great to be able to bring your perp to justice. I'm sorry that you're not feeling well with what's going on with your situation but I hope that destroying your perp in court will help you heal.
It is easy for me as a person who was abused to say to someone that you weren't responsible for what you went through but I still blame myself for being responsible for most of what went on in my childhood. I say that because I can see the small facts of the what things were happening for me whereas I can only look at your situation as a whole without the small reasons for you saying that you still hold yourself responsible for what you did. My T and many members here have asked me many times what would I think if someone was doing the same thing to my kids as what happened between me and papasan. Of course I would say it's wrong but I feel that the circumstances were different with me. I don't know if that makes much sense.
For instance I feel responsible for the year of hell I went through when I was 14. I was offered to do some modeling for magazines and such but I ended up in porn magazines and not Macy's adverts. Movies were made and photos taken of me. That included many hours every week plus well over 100 photos taken of me every week on Tuesdays after school. I feel responsible for the simple reason that I said yes to the offer and nobody told me to. In fact papasan told me never do anything without asking him first, so I wasn't listening to him and therefore I made my own decision.
I also feel that it was my decision to stay with papasan because I loved him as my father and I was willing to do what he wanted.
Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope