thoughts on covert incest, and a rant
Lately I've been thinking about covert incest, since my mom was my first perp, and that was her m.o., crossing boundaries under the guise of motherhood, or something.
So it occured to me that perps may be powerless individuals, until they get into a family situation. Then as a parent they are now in an all-powerful role over the child. Out in the world they may be a complete loser, schmuck, etc, but in the household they get to reign over their children. As a young child you don't know anything else, it's just the way things are. Later you start to compare notes with your friends, you observe their parents, notice differences.
I'm plagued with memories of my mom violating my personal boundaries. I'll leave out the triggering details, but suffice it to say if I did the same things to my 12 year old niece, and she told, I'd go to jail for a long, long, time.
Which reminds me of my college writing 122 class, argumentative writing. (going way off topic here)
I belive you shouldn't generalize, or paint with too broad a brush, so I'll be specific. In that class there were several girls that were on their way to becoming ardent feminists. They were always talking about male oppression, and how sex between a man and a woman is acutally an act of violence, men are evil, etc, etc.
I believe women have been oppressed, and do deserve equal pay for equal work.
But I know firsthand that women are capable of being abusers, manipulators, etc. I wish I had been able to counter arguements in that class at the time.
So it occured to me that perps may be powerless individuals, until they get into a family situation. Then as a parent they are now in an all-powerful role over the child. Out in the world they may be a complete loser, schmuck, etc, but in the household they get to reign over their children. As a young child you don't know anything else, it's just the way things are. Later you start to compare notes with your friends, you observe their parents, notice differences.
I'm plagued with memories of my mom violating my personal boundaries. I'll leave out the triggering details, but suffice it to say if I did the same things to my 12 year old niece, and she told, I'd go to jail for a long, long, time.
Which reminds me of my college writing 122 class, argumentative writing. (going way off topic here)
I belive you shouldn't generalize, or paint with too broad a brush, so I'll be specific. In that class there were several girls that were on their way to becoming ardent feminists. They were always talking about male oppression, and how sex between a man and a woman is acutally an act of violence, men are evil, etc, etc.
I believe women have been oppressed, and do deserve equal pay for equal work.
But I know firsthand that women are capable of being abusers, manipulators, etc. I wish I had been able to counter arguements in that class at the time.