this may seem weird but...

[markgreyblue]

last night and this morning i had
some thoughts on my behavior -

i realize it is important to

consider how the behavior - the request -
from the simplest task - at work or wherever -

will affect me and the other person -

if i wish to make a request - i do want and am committing to
the request-

when i plan accordingly and adjust and project what would be needed
what action would be needed i can think of whether i can

fulfill that request and wish to and adjust accordingly -


i realize so much of what we do if not all of what we do

has the underlying need for us to provide for feasibility

in terms of all resources available - as well -

so again another way of thinking ahead -


sa destroys this ability in us - or perhaps violates the phsycial world

and makes us so inlfuenced by the

the transgressive influences of others and we end up
serving and becoming twisted by it -

my resultant compulsion to say immediately and only be in touch with what

is on the 'tip of my tongue' creatively etc.. etc...
makes me not think before i speak - and blurt out excactly what impulses are being considered
- poorly formed and produced and seemingly from the speaker unfairly interpreted-

it can be destructive

this may seem abstract - i am not sure - i have looked at it a little too much

thank god for therapy and the healing powers that be-

 

[markgreyblue]

and when i said request - even a request of my self following an impulse -
i could follow creatively from one thing to the
next and wipe myself out - now i need to consider
energies for myself - and whether "it's torcher"
doing so much as well - which i have stopped slowly but now very much so -

 

[Bill_1965]

A true and valid observation.

I recently recieved a handout from my employer and their mental health department about considering what a request made of you will mean to you and to your well-being. I have wanted to post parts of it, and this is a perfect place to do it. It'll have to wait until Tuesday, as it is still on my desk.

Bill

 

[markgreyblue]

here's another thought - that perhaps should be in another post -

but a therapist at a seminar - My T relayed this to me -
said:

"child abuse is like forcing a child to sign an
unliveable contract..."

it's an apt phrase - and this place is so very much about revoking it...