All quotes are from Morning Star's most recent post on this topic ...
Looking back, I feel I wouldn't like to change a thing about my past. Considering how much I have received through it, no matter how painful it might have been, it has been all worthwhile ...
I would absolutely change my past if I could.
However, I cannot, so instead, I acknowledge the reality, the horror, of what happened to me (including the life-long scars) and make the very best of it I can. Certainly, some good things MAY have come from my SA - my hyper-vigilance and very active imagination coupled with easy dissociation is perhaps the foundation of my visionary experiences - but my gift of Vision might just as well have developed
without the SA. Regardless, I'll never know, because that option was stolen from me.
But do I think my SA was a
good thing ? Do I think it's a
desirable, worthwhile thing ?
HELL NO !
I have met my own spirit, and know the divine wisdom behind the episode of abuse.
If the sexual abuse of a young boy is some Deity's idea of "wisdom", then as far as I'm concerned, that Deity is demonic, not divine. Personally, I think the Gods weep when ANY child is abused, in ANY way - and they are, for the most part, powerless to prevent it. But what the Gods CAN give us is help in healing.
It's cool you've met your own spirit, but there are much less wasteful ways to do so than through the experience of abuse.
It was a consequence of my past karma and also the need in my soul to learn compassion through forgiveness.
So, you
deserved it ? You
needed it, to learn compassion & forgiveness ?
Utter nonsense.
NOBODY deserves abuse, yet it happens anyway. And there are many, many ways to learn forgiveness and compassion, without the "need" to live the hell we did.
I'm sorry, Morning Star, but you sound like a Westerner (perhaps American) who's managed to warp Buddhist "detachment" into a form of denial / distancing / dissociation.
But that can also be a trap as a victim might refuse to take the consequences of my own karma and instead keep on fighting for retribution for the rest of his natural life.
Victim consciousness is indeed a trap for many survivors - been there, done that, still go there far too often. But the way out of victimhood is empowerment tempered with compassion, rather than blaming it on my "karma". For me, blame is the surest way to stay entrapped in victim mode, because it denies my own power to speak up, be heard, make choices and change my life.
But here's the REALITY :
We WERE victims ! Our challenge is to grow beyond our past, not deny it.
BTW, Justice and retribution are two very different things.
... we must honour that choice of it and work towards gaining wisdom so that we can understand ... (Emphasis added)
Please use "I" statements, as you do not speak for me or (necessarily) any other man here, and with the use of "we", you presume to do so.
Perhaps, but again, you presume too much by speaking about us collectively.
... to ask for an experience in your life script ...
Get this straight, OK ?
I DID NOT ASK TO BE ABUSED !
In your belief system, perhaps you *did* ask for it, but that's *your* belief system - and your burden - so own it, and stop projecting it onto the rest of us.
... and take it with gratitude and with humility.
Like I was expected to "take it" from my abuser, with gratitude and humility for the "gift" he was giving me ? Yeah, ri-iiiight ...
By taking responsibility of ones life, we not only work towards freeing ourselves from our past bondages but also constantly work towards betterment of our future that is being created right in this moment.
On this, we are in total agreement.
As for preventing abuse, could anyone would have prevented what I had come with in my life script to experience?
Yes, they could have prevented it. You did not live your "life script" in a vacuum.
My choice is to what I do next ...
Agreed.
... whether I choose to see it as a gift to learn from or as an opportunity to settle scores.
I think you've fallen into a typical survivor trap, that of Black/White, Either/Or thinking. I most emphatically
DO NOT have to consider my abuse as a "gift" in order to rise above the need for "retribution", which I think you mean as "vengeance".
To repeat : Justice is not necessarily retribution, nor is it necessarily vengeance, either.
