This is all a bit new to me

WhiteRose

Registrant
Hello,

Wasn't expecting to ever end up on a forum like this, but it's funny where life takes you. I'm female, here to find ways to better support my partner, particularly around areas of self esteem and coping with PTSD. I won't go too much into it here, but he had an abusive childhood, both physically and emotionally, and escaped by signing up with the military. So lots going on there in terms of trauma.

We met about four months ago and have a very lovely, close relationship. We share lots of interests and laugh a lot about all sorts of things, so overall things are good. I just want to keep it that way - and maybe even find a way for things to be even better.
 
Welcome. You're right... trauma survivors and their partners need all the support they can find. Perhaps your partner would find some support here as well. The forum where people supporting survivors share about their experience can be reached through the link below...

Family and Friends

It can at times be a slow forum but there are wonderful people there who share their experiences supporting partners, husbands, friends. Quite a number of men here who've experienced child sexual abuse participate on that forum, offering a view of our experience. It is important that you take good care of yourself along the way. Survivors of sexual abuse often have challenges with intimate relationships. Having a place to talk about such things can be very helpful. All the best to you both.
 
Welcome. I would encourage to ask any question you want and to read our posts. You can learn about the issues we all suffer from. We share a lot in common. There have been spouses on here as well. If I'm not mistaken there is even a section for spouses.
 

ChristinaDeSA

New Registrant
Hello White Rose,
I was glad to read your post. New here too. I am married to a survivor. He finally disclosed about two years ago, but is reluctant to dig too deep into the wrong done to him. As a spouse, and a counselor, I had a hint that something wasn't right, but didn't expect such an extensive history. I went to see my own counselor, just once, because I had to say it out loud to someone. But then she responded in an inappropriate way that told me she wasn't familiar with working in this realm and, well, I never went back. But I said what I needed to say and since then have been educating myself. My guy joined the military to get away also. This was a mixed blessing. He worked hard and retired with more than twenty years, but will a big toll on his body and mind. I am happy to make your acquaintance.
 

WhiteRose

Registrant
Hello Christina,

Pleased to make your acquaintance too. I'm sorry your counsellor wasn't more helpful - but yes, just having somewhere to say these things makes such a difference doesn't it?

I had a wonderful counsellor a few years back, but then moved away and have been throwing myself into my new life so haven't found a new one. I did think of her though when he told me, just because I wanted to be able to sit down with someone and say "so this happened and I don't know what to do with it".

Anyway, pleased to make your acquaintance too :)
 
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