Things boys discover
roadrunner
Registrant
Back in September 2005 Ste started a thread that really helped a lot of us. It was about raising boys and things that we discover as we are growing up. It was fun to look back at some of those moments and just laugh. It was important to me because at that moment, when I was finally planning on disclosing to my parents, I really needed to get back in touch with who I was as a boy. I needed to see I wasn't a worthless empty shell with nothing but pain and shame to my life.
Ste, you have been there for me so many times and I really appreciate it - beyond words. So this one is for you, my friend.
Here is my collected contribution to that hilarious thread. Please feel free to add. And mainly...E N J O Y!!!
Things boys discover
1. A bowl of cheerios thrown into a fan is the funniest thing in the world.
2. A car hit by peas from a peashooter can stop in 2.1 seconds.
3. A carp in Mom's washtub can knock the standpipe out.
4. A dead carp starts to smell in 15 minutes.
5. Juice sprayed from trying to crack open your own lobster can hit people at a table 8 feet away.
6. The laundry hamper and the toilet look the same at 3 am.
7. Men's hats (1950s) go all funny when laundry and cleaning supplies are mixed in them.
8. Sisters can be tricked into taking ruined hats to Grandpa as a present.
9. Grandfathers believe girls more than boys.
10. Little sisters think that a nickel is worth more than a dime.
11. Mothers believe girls more than boys.
12. A clove of garlic is just one of those bits, not the whole head.
13. "Add one teaspoon of coffee" means liquid coffee, not coffee grounds.
14. Dads never fall for the water in the gin bottle trick.
15. No neighbors within half a mile of a teenager's house like Jimi Hendrix.
16. Going to a restaurant is especially cool because Dad forgets and leaves money on the table.
17. Sisters will rat you out if you don't share it with them.
18. It is not a good idea to try to leap from a boat to the dock.
19. Docks always have dead fish under them.
20. Docks are never in water less than a mile deep.
21. White underwear goes transparent when it's wet.
22. A girl hitting an egg with a tennis racket...that's the funniest thing in the world!
23. It takes an hour to wash egg out of a girl's blouse by hand.
24. No sister will back you up when you say it was her dog that threw up on the carpet.
25. Colt 45 in a cake mix is disgusting.
26. The minister next door will always be home when your parents are away.
27. When you are stoned, hiding with your friends under the picnic table doesn't make you less conspicuous.
28. Mothers cannot fix dead rabbits squashed on the street outside your house.
29. Girls don't appreciate frogs.
30. Mothers think its funny to sew the legs shut on blue jeans that have been patched 20 times and are just getting comfortable.
31. A girlfriend's mother will not be impressed when you come in from the garden to greet her and walk right into the closed glass patio door.
32. If your mother tells you to plant her bulbs for her and you don't have time to do it, the solution is NOT to dig a hole and bury them.
33. It is bad politics to ask a girlfriend's dad: "Is this film really in color?"
34. You can't run a dishwasher on washing up liquid.
35. There is a reason why jacuzzis don't have sachets of bubble bath close by.
36. When you deposit a dollar in the bank, you don't need to sign the bill so they know which one is yours.
37. If you need your clothes out of the washing machine and need to skip some steps and Mom isn't home for hours, just block the lock mechanism on the top and run the spin cycle with the top of the washing machine open.
Ste, you have been there for me so many times and I really appreciate it - beyond words. So this one is for you, my friend.
Here is my collected contribution to that hilarious thread. Please feel free to add. And mainly...E N J O Y!!!
Things boys discover
1. A bowl of cheerios thrown into a fan is the funniest thing in the world.
2. A car hit by peas from a peashooter can stop in 2.1 seconds.
3. A carp in Mom's washtub can knock the standpipe out.
4. A dead carp starts to smell in 15 minutes.
5. Juice sprayed from trying to crack open your own lobster can hit people at a table 8 feet away.
6. The laundry hamper and the toilet look the same at 3 am.
7. Men's hats (1950s) go all funny when laundry and cleaning supplies are mixed in them.
8. Sisters can be tricked into taking ruined hats to Grandpa as a present.
9. Grandfathers believe girls more than boys.
10. Little sisters think that a nickel is worth more than a dime.
11. Mothers believe girls more than boys.
12. A clove of garlic is just one of those bits, not the whole head.
13. "Add one teaspoon of coffee" means liquid coffee, not coffee grounds.
14. Dads never fall for the water in the gin bottle trick.
15. No neighbors within half a mile of a teenager's house like Jimi Hendrix.
16. Going to a restaurant is especially cool because Dad forgets and leaves money on the table.
17. Sisters will rat you out if you don't share it with them.
18. It is not a good idea to try to leap from a boat to the dock.
19. Docks always have dead fish under them.
20. Docks are never in water less than a mile deep.
21. White underwear goes transparent when it's wet.
22. A girl hitting an egg with a tennis racket...that's the funniest thing in the world!
23. It takes an hour to wash egg out of a girl's blouse by hand.
24. No sister will back you up when you say it was her dog that threw up on the carpet.
25. Colt 45 in a cake mix is disgusting.
26. The minister next door will always be home when your parents are away.
27. When you are stoned, hiding with your friends under the picnic table doesn't make you less conspicuous.
28. Mothers cannot fix dead rabbits squashed on the street outside your house.
29. Girls don't appreciate frogs.
30. Mothers think its funny to sew the legs shut on blue jeans that have been patched 20 times and are just getting comfortable.
31. A girlfriend's mother will not be impressed when you come in from the garden to greet her and walk right into the closed glass patio door.
32. If your mother tells you to plant her bulbs for her and you don't have time to do it, the solution is NOT to dig a hole and bury them.
33. It is bad politics to ask a girlfriend's dad: "Is this film really in color?"
34. You can't run a dishwasher on washing up liquid.
35. There is a reason why jacuzzis don't have sachets of bubble bath close by.
36. When you deposit a dollar in the bank, you don't need to sign the bill so they know which one is yours.
37. If you need your clothes out of the washing machine and need to skip some steps and Mom isn't home for hours, just block the lock mechanism on the top and run the spin cycle with the top of the washing machine open.
