They Did Nothing
blackrabbit223
Registrant
My high school failed me.
This a truth I’ve had trouble wrapping my head around, because for the most part, my school was alright. The students there were middle-class or a little higher up so it was well-off, the quality of the food needed work but at least it was offered, and the library was three times the size of the one at my middle school. I spent a lot of time in there to get away from all the noise and people.
But that doesn’t take away the reality of the situation - I was groomed and abused within those halls and classrooms, as well as online and at our houses. Except for one time that failed, nobody stepped in. Nobody helped me, and I had no way of understanding that I was in a dangerous situation. I just couldn’t comprehend it on my own. If someone had just taken the time to sit down with me and give me a detailed talk on consent, grooming and assault, that would’ve made such a big difference. I’m sure that I’m not alone in that feeling. I briefly talked about the lack of support in the first part of this, but I’m ready to elaborate on it now.
A few weeks ago I spoke to a friend who works with children, and learned that an excessive amount of PDA in a high school is considered to be kissing and hugging. When that was told to me, I thought, “That’s it?” What Sage groomed me to do was far beyond that. One time we took turns laying on each other to see who got out of breath first. At one point I laid all over them and fell asleep during a school assembly, and they held me bridal style. We’d spent long seconds French-kissing in the hallway, with obvious tongue. And they’d tell me to sit in their lap, and I’d eagerly agree. My friend was horrified.
This all happened in front of other people, and no one stepped in or even commented on it. Sometimes in front of a teacher, my teacher. Sage and I were in the same class of hers, which is where the laying thing happened. Their reasoning was that it was the end of the school year and we were excited. I just thought it was a game.
For one assignment of hers, we had to take a ACEs quiz, and I scored a 0 because I hadn’t realized that my parents were neglectful or that what Logan did was abuse. All the questions relating to it specified that the perpetrators were either a parent or other adult in the household. Nothing about abusers outside the home, fellow children, or non-contact SA. If I replace that criteria with Logan, I score a 5.
I trusted this teacher so much, but she never helped me. I was never pulled aside and asked about what was going on, not even by her. All her lessons on mindfulness and how the amygdala works during fight or flight feels fake now, and I feel so betrayed.
The one time the school tried to do something about it can barely be called an attempt. A bus driver had seen me sitting on Sage’s lap, and sent in a report because it was inappropriate behavior. We were taken out of class and asked questions by a staff member, at the same time and in the same room. I don’t remember how the conversation went, but it wasn’t done out of any concern for the situation. If that was true, we would’ve been interviewed separately and I would’ve been talked to about abuse, at least that’s how I hope it should’ve gone. The only time I had to go see the school counselor was for more autism testing. Nothing about Sage was brought up, because I didn’t know I was in danger then.
I just wish that anyone, even one person, had truly done something. I was used to that treatment from Sage, but the lack of intervention from bystanders almost makes me angrier. I do have MS to talk about all this on, and I’m thankful.
This a truth I’ve had trouble wrapping my head around, because for the most part, my school was alright. The students there were middle-class or a little higher up so it was well-off, the quality of the food needed work but at least it was offered, and the library was three times the size of the one at my middle school. I spent a lot of time in there to get away from all the noise and people.
But that doesn’t take away the reality of the situation - I was groomed and abused within those halls and classrooms, as well as online and at our houses. Except for one time that failed, nobody stepped in. Nobody helped me, and I had no way of understanding that I was in a dangerous situation. I just couldn’t comprehend it on my own. If someone had just taken the time to sit down with me and give me a detailed talk on consent, grooming and assault, that would’ve made such a big difference. I’m sure that I’m not alone in that feeling. I briefly talked about the lack of support in the first part of this, but I’m ready to elaborate on it now.
A few weeks ago I spoke to a friend who works with children, and learned that an excessive amount of PDA in a high school is considered to be kissing and hugging. When that was told to me, I thought, “That’s it?” What Sage groomed me to do was far beyond that. One time we took turns laying on each other to see who got out of breath first. At one point I laid all over them and fell asleep during a school assembly, and they held me bridal style. We’d spent long seconds French-kissing in the hallway, with obvious tongue. And they’d tell me to sit in their lap, and I’d eagerly agree. My friend was horrified.
This all happened in front of other people, and no one stepped in or even commented on it. Sometimes in front of a teacher, my teacher. Sage and I were in the same class of hers, which is where the laying thing happened. Their reasoning was that it was the end of the school year and we were excited. I just thought it was a game.
For one assignment of hers, we had to take a ACEs quiz, and I scored a 0 because I hadn’t realized that my parents were neglectful or that what Logan did was abuse. All the questions relating to it specified that the perpetrators were either a parent or other adult in the household. Nothing about abusers outside the home, fellow children, or non-contact SA. If I replace that criteria with Logan, I score a 5.
I trusted this teacher so much, but she never helped me. I was never pulled aside and asked about what was going on, not even by her. All her lessons on mindfulness and how the amygdala works during fight or flight feels fake now, and I feel so betrayed.
The one time the school tried to do something about it can barely be called an attempt. A bus driver had seen me sitting on Sage’s lap, and sent in a report because it was inappropriate behavior. We were taken out of class and asked questions by a staff member, at the same time and in the same room. I don’t remember how the conversation went, but it wasn’t done out of any concern for the situation. If that was true, we would’ve been interviewed separately and I would’ve been talked to about abuse, at least that’s how I hope it should’ve gone. The only time I had to go see the school counselor was for more autism testing. Nothing about Sage was brought up, because I didn’t know I was in danger then.
I just wish that anyone, even one person, had truly done something. I was used to that treatment from Sage, but the lack of intervention from bystanders almost makes me angrier. I do have MS to talk about all this on, and I’m thankful.