there is good in life..yet i never could see it

there is good in life..yet i never could see it
S

sabata

when i was younger i had such a chip on my shoulder..i hated people i hated myself..i would drive people away from me..i would reject people before they had a chance to reject me..i thought there was nothing wrong with me it was everyone else.. so i went through life with no friends..that was to riskey...so now that i am older..quit drinking..cleared my mind some..like myself some..i have been trying to be nice to people..boy what a response i get back..people are nice to me..i try just small things..saying good morning..saying how nice someone looks today....trying to stay out of the work place gossip circle..trying to keep my mouth shut if i cant say anything nice about people.. and so on....this has helped me so much..as i feel better about myself..when i get such good feed back from these people..changing my thinking.to a postive note is such work..always being on my toes as to how my mind tells me messages..usually bad but becoming good..it is worth it this recovery thing...so glad i can come here and share my thoughts thanks all steve
 
Steve,

I love the way you put it!!!:

it is worth it this recovery thing
Click to expand...
It sure is. As you can see from your own first efforts, what you get back is the genuine Steve, and for all the rest of your life. Sounds like a good investment of time and effort to me.

Much love,
Larry
 
Hey Steve --

I really enjoyed reading this is all. I have had similar experiences recently where I realize there is love in me and in the world. Its crazy, but I can live safely in the world and not in the old familiar world of dissapointment.
I had so many people in my life who continuously let me down, but I kept trying to manipulate them into being there for me. I worked so hard to connect to the bit of them that was love. It too a lot of work and eventually I just collapsed about a week a go and said I couldn't do it anymore.
I realized I was perpetuating my victimhood by having these people in my life. I was playing part of the game.
So I did an inventory of my friends and came up with the 5 I really love and know love me unonditionally. I let go the toxic ones and am trying to make a place for the nice flakes who just can't show up but are awfull.
I am making room for love in my life. Its a good feeling.

Be well and enjoy it, its the reward (I think)

Jonathon
 
Jonathan,

What a totally cool post! Good for you. "Making room for love in my life" is a good way to describe so many of the things we have to do in recovery. Just remember that the first person you have to love is yourself - not in a selfish way, but in the sense of insisting that you deserve to have good things and good people in your life.

Yep: "making room for love in my life" - that definitely works for me. I may just pilfer that one from you! ;)

Much love,
Larry
 
thakns larry...and..jonathon...feed back is so good...for me.....there was a time i saw no good in life at all Steve
 
like anything, looking at things in a possitive light becomes easier the more you do it. you go through a time where you have to slow your thinking down so you can catch yourself in your old ways, but as time passes the change becomes automatic. you'll just wake up one morning and notice your whole outlook has changed. it is so sneaky you dont even notice it happening, it just does.

congrats, it sounds like you are headed in the right direction.
 
Sabata,

I felt like I had taken a pair of dirty glasses off. Everthing just looked better, different and better.

I hope I never put those glasses on again.

Thanks for the post. Reminded me of a time not so long ago.
 
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