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shadowkid

WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shado
i been afraid to post this ,afraid i might chicken out .but i'm going today .i talked to the dr. on the phone and she agreed to make room for me .it's a women don't know how that will be . considering all the crap i been through this should be a piece of cake ,then why the hell am i so nervous? being able to talk here will make it eaiser to talk to her ,i hope .ok wish me luck ,with all of you behind me i will be ok . thanks for helping me help myself shadow
 
Adam,

It is always scary seeing a T for the first time, but bear in mind that she is a pro. She has seen all this before and she knows what she's doing. Her first priority will be to gain your trust and make you comfortable, so in the first few sessions with her you may not even get anywhere near the topic of your abuse - how fast things go will depend on you. Good luck!

Much love,
Larry
 
I'm just about to go for the first time myself. I've read all of you're posts Adam, please consider me one of your supporters ok?

I hesitate to give advice to you about anything though because my life has been full of bad choices, you will see when I tell my story soon.

I would like to make a comment about the meth that I hope you've stopped using/abusing.

I look at that drug as if it were a "dangerous servant", and a "fearful master". It's one of the worst drugs to turn to for a coping mechanism from what I know of it. Avoid it like the plague, for us please.

I'm still drinking alcohol, although not every day. It doesn't affect my work, but it does keep me from doing more constructive things with my time. Maybe I should just quit. I don't know.........I just get bored sometimes and it makes good company for me I guess.

Hey Adam.....good luck! Let us know how it goes ok?
 
Adam,

Speaking from personal experience, working with a T can do wonders for your recovery. It's important that you feel safe and comfortable. Like Larry says, you dictate the pace. Take it as slow as you want.
 
hauser, we sound so much alike ,i don't try to give advice either don't trust my judgement ,the meth is one more thing my abuser gave me ,he would use it to make it eaiser to rape me ,it kinda killed the pain and they could use me for hours on end .it kept me from fighting or caring .i got off of it during foster care ,got sent to rehab at age 14 ,but thats another story . the last few days is the first time in 3 years i did it ,funny how it feels like an old friend to me .but i'm done with trying to kill the pain with drugs gonna do it the right way this time .ok i'm off to the therapist ,think i might throw up first though ,so damn nervous . as neil young said out of the blue and into the black,i'll be watching for your story whenever your ready to tell it .it really is ok to put it out here ,no one will judge you at all . thanks for your support with out it i would still be crying in that damn closet adam
 
Hey Adam,

Hope things went well today with the T. It can be pretty intimidating, but if you're willing to do the hard work being brutally honest with yourself and the therapist, the benefits are immeasurable.

I agree with Hauser. Stay away from the chemicals. They'll kill you, friend. We care too much about you to see that happen.

Hugs,

John
 
Adam,

I admire your courage. And I think you'll be rewarded for it. I took a deep breath and told my T last year after keeping it in for 40 years. Trust me, keeping it in is no good.

It is tough when you first go to a therapist, but I think you'll find that it's worth it. And, you've got the support of everyone here. Good luck.

Peter
 
Adam and Hauser,

I hate to preach, and I hope I don't sound like I am doing that. I am just speaking from the experience of one who almost didn't make it because of drugs and alcohol.

The longer you stay with them the tighter their grip on you becomes, the less they relieve your pain, and the more they harm you. You eventually start doing more and more of them, combining, launching yourself into crazy episodes because you just don't care anymore, etc. When I got clean off hard drugs at the age of 20 I became a different person. I could relate to what few friends I still had, I learned what happiness and self-respect were again, and I went from failing every subject in college to getting As in everything.

It's never a matter of just swearing off the crap and that's it. I stumbled many times and alcohol still gets me occasionally. Don't beat yourself up if breaking free takes time. But your life is worth getting back, and getting back in all its true potential. Just the fact that you are here shows you already know that.

Something to think about.

Much love,
Larry
 
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