I feel your pain brother. EMDR is not for the faint of heart, I've been there. I had a session yesterday that was rough myself. Just know going through this pain is helping you heal. It may not feel like it now, but you are better for it. Hang in there!
Don't feel like a failure, you are anything but. It takes bravery to face ourselves head on and especially in an EMDR environment where we lose control (e.g. meaning we have NO idea what is going to surface and or how we will react). Walking into this unknown is a true act of bravery! Hold your head high, I know someone who needs EMDR but because they have seem several of my reactions refuses to do it because they don't want to face themselves per se.
Its okay if you couldn't look him in the eye either/shake his hand. You had to care for yourself after your session. Self Care is the priority and if he's as great as you think, he totally gets it.
You were in an extremely vulnerable emotional state, its normal. I'm actually impressed that you can share/show this vulnerability in front of your therapist. Take the win! I don't ever have these moments until I'm back home. There have been times my wife has found me curled up in a ball in a closet hysterical as a result of EMDR, the emotional flooding just being too great. You've got this!
@OnceInnocent you are not a failure, just the fact that we seek out help is brave. Facing our own pain is not for the faint a heart. I have been in a T session where I had to stop 1/2 into it because I triggered so bad and it was only us talking. Be gentle with yourself and take it at your own pace.
You are not alone
@OnceInnocent - you aren't the only one this happens to after EMDR. You're not alone, not by a long shot. After my last session, I had to sit in my car for 20 minutes while crying before I felt well enough to go back to work. I definitely wasn't happy about crying in public, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I began running for the health benefits. I now run 3 times a week (3 miles) for the emotional benefits. It's peaceful to be quiet with my own thoughts on the streets when its dark and very few are up and moving. It's very therapeutic.
“Big boys don’t cry” biggest most harmful thing my parents did to me. Well beyond abandoning me to the hands of their childhood friend, elder in our church and then the assistant scoutmaster because they were too busy.
Move and workout while you can some of us waited and soothed with food to the point at 60 I feel it with every step. Swimming did help though- time to get back in the pool...
Sorry you had that experience, you're not alone.
My first EMDR was not good, I went into full blown panic attack and almost passed out.
The retrospect week or so later is that I could actually see it was doing something, I just wasn't ready.
I too was advised to focus on physical heath as we moved through therapy. Always to eat something healthy and drink a lot of water after a session. It has since been a month of doing meditation, yoga and just started Dao Yin, which I like much better than yoga. We're going to try EMDR again this coming Tuesday, I do feel like I'm in a better frame of mind physically now.
My new approach is that I have to remind myself to be open. While I want it to work, but it is not a fit for everyone. My T said it is not her only modality, we'll find what works.
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