Trev,
Yep - exactly right. All the terrible things you could list, all the bad things that have happened that you used to think were your fault - ALL of those were the fault of those who hurt you. It can never be the boy's fault when he is hurt by those more powerful than he is.
As for the rest, an expression I like can put it like this: You are NOT fucked up; it's what happened to you that's fucked up.
Much love,
Larry