the stregnth of the survivor
It is so common for me to look at the things I do and especially the things I have done in life and see only the negative. I suppose that is not surprising given that the cost of hypervigilance and secrecy, of loss and pain, will always appear in large portion as negative. But I think it is helpful to look at that portion of our behavior that is so often overlooked.
It is amazing if we will step outside that negative place and look at the incredible strength possessed in the survivor. It seems so often such a small and insignificant thing for us to accomplish the necessary. So often it is those mundane and common issues that cause me to freak out totally. And so as I somehow manage to push through the anxiety and accomplish what is to me a heart rending task, I am forced to look back and say to myself oh so you managed to do what half a million people do daily without even thinking about it
How much better to accept with honesty that even IF that is true ( which is up for debate) the fact is that we have taken steps even though every part of us is firing its most persuasive warnings and terror seems all around. Even though fear is so thick we can cut it, or depression makes it impossible to feel any good thing, we still take steps to continue on and try with all we have to find some kind of existence even managing to confront what terrifies us most.
These events dont make us less! Just the opposite is true. The fact that we manage through and in spite of these powerful feelings makes us ever so much more! It is the difference between taking a walk on a beach and running a triathlon each and every time we confront our so called limits. The effort is herculean and the accomplishment though it may seem small is one more step toward the day when we may have some rest; the day when the warning lights and sirens will not sound or at least be greatly lessened.
I for one look forward to that day.
It is amazing if we will step outside that negative place and look at the incredible strength possessed in the survivor. It seems so often such a small and insignificant thing for us to accomplish the necessary. So often it is those mundane and common issues that cause me to freak out totally. And so as I somehow manage to push through the anxiety and accomplish what is to me a heart rending task, I am forced to look back and say to myself oh so you managed to do what half a million people do daily without even thinking about it
How much better to accept with honesty that even IF that is true ( which is up for debate) the fact is that we have taken steps even though every part of us is firing its most persuasive warnings and terror seems all around. Even though fear is so thick we can cut it, or depression makes it impossible to feel any good thing, we still take steps to continue on and try with all we have to find some kind of existence even managing to confront what terrifies us most.
These events dont make us less! Just the opposite is true. The fact that we manage through and in spite of these powerful feelings makes us ever so much more! It is the difference between taking a walk on a beach and running a triathlon each and every time we confront our so called limits. The effort is herculean and the accomplishment though it may seem small is one more step toward the day when we may have some rest; the day when the warning lights and sirens will not sound or at least be greatly lessened.
I for one look forward to that day.
