The pain of hiding became greater....
What up all, happy to be here in a place that I already know will be supportive. I'm just glad I had the courage to finally sign up and speak up.
Much like when I self enrolled in alcohol rehab, the pain of doing it my way was worse than the pain of trying something new.... This forum is the same. I have tried and tried to do this alone with therapy support and a 12 step group but even with that - I am still alone. My mother was the abuser and that makes it all the more complicated. Oh - and I didn't know any of the abuse happened other than "my mom was a crazy alcoholic" - until I was 39 years old. I had to resign from work almost 3 years ago and go into full time recovery for a while to deal with this little surprise that arrived white gloved in the form of flashbacks. They came shortly after she died of liver failure. My rage became so bad I went into hiding.
I haven't had a drink now in 2 years, proud of that. I am making great progress, proud of that. Yet sadly two weeks ago I moved out of my house and am living alone separate from my wife. We have two small children, who I see daily. My wife is a trigger and I needed a safe place to calm down, for starters. I have no idea where this is going, other than it is all therapy supported and approved and I have pretty much decided to let them call the shots because my radar / guidance system is so faulty right now. It's way off and PTSD does that.
So welcome me, welcome you - Reboot always brings the fresh drama so grab your popcorn and enjoy!
I am honored to be part of this community of strong, strong individuals. We got this.
Much like when I self enrolled in alcohol rehab, the pain of doing it my way was worse than the pain of trying something new.... This forum is the same. I have tried and tried to do this alone with therapy support and a 12 step group but even with that - I am still alone. My mother was the abuser and that makes it all the more complicated. Oh - and I didn't know any of the abuse happened other than "my mom was a crazy alcoholic" - until I was 39 years old. I had to resign from work almost 3 years ago and go into full time recovery for a while to deal with this little surprise that arrived white gloved in the form of flashbacks. They came shortly after she died of liver failure. My rage became so bad I went into hiding.
I haven't had a drink now in 2 years, proud of that. I am making great progress, proud of that. Yet sadly two weeks ago I moved out of my house and am living alone separate from my wife. We have two small children, who I see daily. My wife is a trigger and I needed a safe place to calm down, for starters. I have no idea where this is going, other than it is all therapy supported and approved and I have pretty much decided to let them call the shots because my radar / guidance system is so faulty right now. It's way off and PTSD does that.
So welcome me, welcome you - Reboot always brings the fresh drama so grab your popcorn and enjoy!
I am honored to be part of this community of strong, strong individuals. We got this.