The new T looks like my perp

The new T looks like my perp
C

Chey-Wy

Registrant
I finally got in to see a T today. Because of finances I have had to swith to a clinic down the street from where I live that works on a sliding scale fee schedule.

Today was my first appointment with the new T. I haven't seen a T for almost 6 weeks. That is how bad the backlog is at the clinic.

Well, to make a long story short .... the new T looks so much like my perp at the church it is scary. I told him that and he said that we could talk about it next session.

I just wish that I could get the therapy that I need and that I had some choices in the therapy.

The church refuses to even talk about the possiblity of paying for my therapy.

I know there are good therapist out there. I met 6 of them at the retreat I attended at Pilgrim Park.

Any suggestions on how to deal with a T that looks like you perp.

John
 
John,

That has to be tough. Perhaps part of the reason I didn't go to a male therapist was to avoid that possibility.

Off the top of my head, can you find some specific things that are very different, hair style, intonation, mannerism, colloquial speech, anything? Try to concentrate on those differences to reassure yourself this is a different person when it really starts to bother you. If it comes down to it, maybe you could get a lapel button or something that the T would be willing to wear during sessions to help you. If the perp was a fan of some sports team, get a button celebrating their hated opponenents. Or get something completely silly. I don't know, it's coming off the top of my head.

HTH,

Joe
 
John: Thats a rough one. He has offered to talk about it. Give it a try. Maybe you guys should try some changes as Joe suggests. Wear something different. Or ask him to. Remember he is not your perp. And he has been trained to help. Maybe he, knowing about the resemblance, will let you rant. Just a thought. But stick with him for a while ok. I know that you are strong. Now I am not a terribly religious guy but I do feel that certain people come in contact with us at certain important times in our lives to help us with direction. Maybe this is one of those times. Look at it that way may help.

I know that there has always been someone there for me at critical times in my life and thank got I took the hand and way that was right.

Your Canuck brother
 
Thanks guys,

I think that the big issue is that Dr. Laughin was not only a minister but also had done counseling.

He was a Ph.D. Ed.D (Doctor of Education) and a D.D. (doctor of divinity) He knew the professioal code of ethics for counselor and crossed that line.

I guess that I just don't feel safe with this new T. There is a huge window in his office thta looks out to the parking lot, and there are a ton of other offices with other people in them.

Dr. Laughln always saw me in the evening when we were the only ones in the building.

I see the new T again next Tues. He said that we would talk about him looking like Dr. Laughlin. Maybe we can work through it. Then I can find out if he is a good T or not.

Thanks

John
 
John
that's got to be a tough one, but maybe it'll work to your advantage ?

Maybe it'll be easier to vent to him ?

Try not to be toooo hard on him though.

Dave
 
I am so sorry you ahve to deal of that, and have no other options open at you right now for therapy. I have not had to deal of that problem, to even meet someone who looks as my abuser. I just wished to tell you that I read this and feel of you. I hope that you can perhaps work this out some, to get someone else to talk at. I am sure that is reasonable request.
Take care, I wish you well.
Leosha
 
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