The movie "Signs"

The movie "Signs"
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Redsongbird

Registrant
I watched this movie the other day. There is a scene in the movie where Mel Gibson and his children are in the basement because of the aliens that are in their house. What I can not get off my mind is the part where his younger son is having an asthma attack....he is holding his son..on his chest with the son's chest to the fathers back...the father's hand in on the son's chest helping him to steady his breathing by getting his son to breathe with him. What I was feeling has nothing really to do with the movie..though I like the movie and I think all the actors are great in it.....that scene is what I think I have wanted in the past ..and now too I guess ..to have a man who is close to me to care enough for me to do something like that....it's not a sex thing...or an attraction to men...I am not putting this into words the way I am feeling this......the scene is so intense....it just has been on my mind.

Tobey
 
Hi Tobey,

I think I understand what you are trying to say and the feeling that goes with it.

I have seen little boys who lovingly & trustingly hold their daddy's hand even while in the elevator. Another time I saw another little boy put his arms around his daddy's waist while they were sitting in front of me in church.

It is something that I don't think I can do with my dad because my dad is quite violent and abusive and I always feel frightened whenever I am anywhere near him.

I'd always wish I had a daddy or older brother whom I can put my arms around, or who would hold me lovingly without any bad intention.

But it's okay, what we didn't receive we can still give to others!! :o )

God bless,
Timothy
 
Tobey, I never see a father and son happy together that I don't cry. I have become very good at hiding it. When I was younger, I used to cry in movies when fathers showed love to their sons. I never quite understood why, but I knew that there must be some sort of reason. Now I know. I was in a furniture store a couple of months ago and rounded a corner...there was a small statue of a father holding his son over his head...playing. With no warning, I started crying right there in the store...not great loud sobs or anything, but the tears were running down my cheeks. I am always surprised when that happens...but then not surprised when I think about it. I've got it pretty much under control now. It's those moments that catch me off guard that still get me. We get over it. We heal. We understand. But the emptiness and the sadness of that little boy who needed to be accepted and loved by his dad never quite goes away.
When I had a son, the only thing I wanted to be sure that he had in life was the absolute knowledge that his father loved and accepted him exactly as he was, and, if he doesn't, it's not because I didn't spend every possible moment trying to make that dream a reality. Again, I didn't understand then why that was so important to me. Now I do.
Still I wish my father had loved me for who I am, and I always will. Bobby
 
Toeby,

Your post really hit close to home for me. Last night I woke up with an asthma attack and a bunch of emotional flash backs ( i think i just invented that word...it means no memories just how I felt when I got hurt). I have also been talking to my father trying to get him to see how he was not there for me when i needed him.

I wish he was there for me. Perhaps he could have prevented the abuse. No, he could have prevented the abuse. My wife and I have a child on the way and when s/he is born I am going to be that father that makes his child feel safe.

Thanks for sharing.

Jonathan
 
There was a show on Fox for a while called "Nanny 911" about these families in terrible shape and each week a nanny was sent into a home to straighten the parents out. I know it was edited for effect and the results probably didn't last, but I cried my eyes out every single episode. The nannies would teach the parents how to show love and acceptance to the kids, and suddenly the kids were so much better! It was obvious that parents were calling Nanny to fix their rotten kids when the real problem was with the adults. The little boy in me wishes with all my heart that Nanny had come to my house.

All the movies about kids getting lost in the shuffle and getting saved from those lives, ending up loved and cared for get me. Like Bobby, I didn't understand why, when I was in early teenage years, "The Journey of Natty Gann" made me sob. A little girl in an abusive household runs away and finds her dad who loves her very much. Now I understand.

I know the shows are fiction. But it's the same reason we, living in a scary world touched by terrorism, have suddenly been inundated with (and gladly watch) movies about super heroes who can and do make the world safer. We didn't get the reality of loving dads, something babies are born desperately needing, so it's easy to understand why the image of a man holding, accepting, caring for, and loving a boy whom he calls "son" brings tears to our eyes.

I understand what you're saying completely.
 
Thanks for the replys...I wasn't sure if I was just being emotional or not. My father left when I was one but now (and I'm 44) his actions are still effecting me today. It is impossible to think that even such a person when NOT there can be so effective either for good or bad.....My stepfather was "great" in the eyes of others but he SA me. So I have no father that I have ever been close to. I have a father-in-law but it just does not click between us. I guess I am just missing that part of life or the movie at least got me to thinking about it.

Tobey
 
Tobey, I understand what you're saying all too well, unfortunately. My heart caves in at certain times, it can be seeing a father and son together who obviously love each other, or other things spark the sadness as well. There's a reason I have no close male friends....zero, none, nill. The wound from a father to son is such a devastating one that we carry, many times not realizing the full impact it has upon us until we back up and look at all the areas of our lives it has affected. I miss that part of life, too, Tobey.
 
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