the most important post i have made here.
the most important post i have made here.
- Thread starterkuurt
- Start date
reality2k4
Registrant
Kurt,
firstly, you are not a liar, dont harbor that emotion.
Tell her that you have no intention of going to that house while he is there.
Tell her, its either you, her son, or him.
Leave the answers to her.
She should have believed you, that sucks that she didnt listen to her own son.
I cant think of much else to do, other than tell the cops and let them call you a liar.
They would believe you,
ste
firstly, you are not a liar, dont harbor that emotion.
Tell her that you have no intention of going to that house while he is there.
Tell her, its either you, her son, or him.
Leave the answers to her.
She should have believed you, that sucks that she didnt listen to her own son.
I cant think of much else to do, other than tell the cops and let them call you a liar.
They would believe you,
ste
Bill_h_pike
Registrant
Kurt,
Keep talking until someone listens. You will be believed. Is there anyone you know who could talk to your mom on your behalf?
Keep talking until someone listens. You will be believed. Is there anyone you know who could talk to your mom on your behalf?
Hauser
Registrant
Kuurt I was afraid this would happen, not because you told, but because (I feel this way it's not critisism ok?) you were apologetic in the nature of your letter and not pointing the finger at her and her incompitencies as a parent. (I mean, how many parents let their sons be babysat by a guy she barely knows, one that never dates, never had a girlfriend, never been married etc, these, too me, are BIG red flags).
You know what Kuurt? Who says you can't write another letter, and tell her that thanks to her inpetness, you're now going to give a copy of your NEXT letter to that shrink at your school, (you know, the one that loves to tell?)
I know it doesn't seem like it, and guys, please tell me if you agree ok?, but you now have more power in your hands than you ever have had before.
I KNOW that you're PISSED off and scared of the unknown right now, so let's keep a calm head ok? This is where you're at:
1. You now have the ability to force your Mom to make a decision, it won't be pretty, but by making it known that you're now going to involve the state if she doesn't act on your behalf, you put the initiative on your side and now she has to react or things will get really bad for her, (they couldn't get worse for you could they?)
2. You must provide undeniable details of what he did to you. Make them as dispicable and disgusting as you must in order to make it UNDENIABLE. You're mom, in thinking that the state (you're shrink at school) is about to learn the very same thing, will simply have no choice.
3. Give her one day's notice. He's out or the state comes in.
Message for the others: Guys? Please tell me if you think this is going too far ok? But I've gotten to know Kurrt for the past 6 months and I think that he can do this. He's in great pain right now being forced to be around his perp and I just don't see another way out for a kid that can't quite make it on his own yet.
You know what Kuurt? Who says you can't write another letter, and tell her that thanks to her inpetness, you're now going to give a copy of your NEXT letter to that shrink at your school, (you know, the one that loves to tell?)
I know it doesn't seem like it, and guys, please tell me if you agree ok?, but you now have more power in your hands than you ever have had before.
I KNOW that you're PISSED off and scared of the unknown right now, so let's keep a calm head ok? This is where you're at:
1. You now have the ability to force your Mom to make a decision, it won't be pretty, but by making it known that you're now going to involve the state if she doesn't act on your behalf, you put the initiative on your side and now she has to react or things will get really bad for her, (they couldn't get worse for you could they?)
2. You must provide undeniable details of what he did to you. Make them as dispicable and disgusting as you must in order to make it UNDENIABLE. You're mom, in thinking that the state (you're shrink at school) is about to learn the very same thing, will simply have no choice.
3. Give her one day's notice. He's out or the state comes in.
Message for the others: Guys? Please tell me if you think this is going too far ok? But I've gotten to know Kurrt for the past 6 months and I think that he can do this. He's in great pain right now being forced to be around his perp and I just don't see another way out for a kid that can't quite make it on his own yet.
reality2k4
Registrant
Hauser,
I think he needs to take stock, stand his ground and stay away from that guy.
Tell vs dont tell, is the hardest choice in the world.
Considering that it hurts both ways, whichever he chooses, he needs to lessen the hurt he is going through right now.
Kurt, you have regained some power over her, if you can take it one step further then do it.
You have made a big step in giving her the letter.
Ask her to file it as future evidence.
If she reacted with clients in a similar fashion, she would find herself potentially in deep trouble.
I have seen that many docs and psyches over the past months, none of them would call me a liar.
They would end up having to answer to their own bosses or in court if they did it.
If there is anyone you trust to help you outside of this place, let them know, and help you through.
Just keep your strength,
ste
I think he needs to take stock, stand his ground and stay away from that guy.
Tell vs dont tell, is the hardest choice in the world.
Considering that it hurts both ways, whichever he chooses, he needs to lessen the hurt he is going through right now.
Kurt, you have regained some power over her, if you can take it one step further then do it.
You have made a big step in giving her the letter.
Ask her to file it as future evidence.
If she reacted with clients in a similar fashion, she would find herself potentially in deep trouble.
I have seen that many docs and psyches over the past months, none of them would call me a liar.
They would end up having to answer to their own bosses or in court if they did it.
If there is anyone you trust to help you outside of this place, let them know, and help you through.
Just keep your strength,
ste
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
The hardest step has already been taken. You wrote the letter and you told someone. That's didn't have the expected result, but that doesn't mean you are defeated - not by a long shot.
There is still your father, who ought to be your next resort. There are also school authorities and in NO there will certainly be a teen crisis line you can call.
The most important thing to be thinking now is that you DESERVE help and can get it. It WILL happen. Don't despair and start thinking of running again. As you already know, that doesn't fix anything.
Much love,
Larry
The hardest step has already been taken. You wrote the letter and you told someone. That's didn't have the expected result, but that doesn't mean you are defeated - not by a long shot.
There is still your father, who ought to be your next resort. There are also school authorities and in NO there will certainly be a teen crisis line you can call.
The most important thing to be thinking now is that you DESERVE help and can get it. It WILL happen. Don't despair and start thinking of running again. As you already know, that doesn't fix anything.
Much love,
Larry
Kurt,
I hear you. I wish there were something I could do to just make everything better for you. The only thing I can do is just tell you that I care about you, how you're feeling right now, and about whatever happens next. Just stay connected with us if you can, and perhaps some answers will come.
Lots of love,
John
I hear you. I wish there were something I could do to just make everything better for you. The only thing I can do is just tell you that I care about you, how you're feeling right now, and about whatever happens next. Just stay connected with us if you can, and perhaps some answers will come.
Lots of love,
John
Kurt,
I know what you mean by not wanting to give the letter to anybody else or tell anybody else. I just want you to know that we are all still here for you. Take your time, think about it and do what you have to to keep yourself safe. Now is the time to kind of regroup, get your thoughts together and decide what to do next. And whatever else you may do, NEVER GIVE UP!
Love ya
Darrel
I know what you mean by not wanting to give the letter to anybody else or tell anybody else. I just want you to know that we are all still here for you. Take your time, think about it and do what you have to to keep yourself safe. Now is the time to kind of regroup, get your thoughts together and decide what to do next. And whatever else you may do, NEVER GIVE UP!
Love ya
Darrel
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
As we discussed in chat, I hope you will just take some time for yourself right now. What has happened must have been so emotional and exhausting. In so far as you can, try to be gentle with yourself and give Kurt a break. Nothing you did was wrong or a mistake - you were very brave.
What happens next will of course be your decision. But as Darrel says, I hope you will take some time to regroup first, and then return to this issue.
Let me close by saying something that won't surprise you. Only you are in charge of your recovery, and no one else can "do it" or "take over" for you. But the reward is that you get your life back - not without work, and not without difficulty, but you do get it back.
I tell you this because I too wouldn't want to see you give up, and also because I know you won't be alone. Please do believe that.
Much love,
Larry
As we discussed in chat, I hope you will just take some time for yourself right now. What has happened must have been so emotional and exhausting. In so far as you can, try to be gentle with yourself and give Kurt a break. Nothing you did was wrong or a mistake - you were very brave.
What happens next will of course be your decision. But as Darrel says, I hope you will take some time to regroup first, and then return to this issue.
Let me close by saying something that won't surprise you. Only you are in charge of your recovery, and no one else can "do it" or "take over" for you. But the reward is that you get your life back - not without work, and not without difficulty, but you do get it back.
I tell you this because I too wouldn't want to see you give up, and also because I know you won't be alone. Please do believe that.
Much love,
Larry
reality2k4
Registrant
Kurt,
your mother has completely denied you as her son.
I can understand that her denial has made you think, how many others would deny you the truth.
We are only thinking of your safety here, and I know this is tough right now.
Just keep your own mind safe.
Nobody is going to tell you what to do,
ste
your mother has completely denied you as her son.
I can understand that her denial has made you think, how many others would deny you the truth.
We are only thinking of your safety here, and I know this is tough right now.
Just keep your own mind safe.
Nobody is going to tell you what to do,
ste
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
Please do come back and let us know how you are doing, okay? I know you and I talk, but let the group help you as well. You really are a brother and part of our community. You have taken a hard hit, yes, but you aren't defeated.
Much love,
Larry
Please do come back and let us know how you are doing, okay? I know you and I talk, but let the group help you as well. You really are a brother and part of our community. You have taken a hard hit, yes, but you aren't defeated.
Much love,
Larry