the most important post i have made here.
the most important post i have made here.
- Thread starterkuurt
- Start date
george of kent
Registrant
Kurt,
Just remember, you are never alone. You have the support, love and prayers of all your brothers here.
(((((Kurt)))))
Much love, etc.,
Just remember, you are never alone. You have the support, love and prayers of all your brothers here.
(((((Kurt)))))
Much love, etc.,
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
No one will try to push you, and I hope you know that we will all be with you regardless of what you decide. But here are the facts.
As Bill said, until you tell someone the suffering won't end. This isn't just about Adam rebuilding your house.
What will it be like sleeping in your room after this, knowing that he did the work?
Until you tell, telling remains the huge shadow over your life. After you tell nothing else will ever be so difficult.
I wish we could send a delegation to New Orleans for you. But this situation reflects the real limitations of what we can do for you here on MS. This one is down to YOU, and your recovery as a young man depends on it.
Much love,
Larry
No one will try to push you, and I hope you know that we will all be with you regardless of what you decide. But here are the facts.
As Bill said, until you tell someone the suffering won't end. This isn't just about Adam rebuilding your house.
What will it be like sleeping in your room after this, knowing that he did the work?
Until you tell, telling remains the huge shadow over your life. After you tell nothing else will ever be so difficult.
I wish we could send a delegation to New Orleans for you. But this situation reflects the real limitations of what we can do for you here on MS. This one is down to YOU, and your recovery as a young man depends on it.
Much love,
Larry
michael Joseph
Registrant
Keep yourself safe ok, I can tell you have a lot going on right now. It is ok not to give your mom the letter, I do hope you can tell someone if you havent already,
Most important is that you are not in any harm.
It is important to take care of yourself. I wouldnt be alone with this guy at all, you are right you cant work with him alone.
Peace
Most important is that you are not in any harm.
It is important to take care of yourself. I wouldnt be alone with this guy at all, you are right you cant work with him alone.
Peace
Hauser
Registrant
Hi kuurt. I just wanted you to know that although I've been living my life just as I always have lately, not a day has gone by since you posted this message that I don't think about you and how you're dealing with a MAJOR issue in your life.
May strength and courage guide you now...
We're all here for you dude
May strength and courage guide you now...
We're all here for you dude
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
You and I will be talking about all this over the next few days. Just be certain, my friend, that this decision is yours. Look over what everyone has told you, sure, but please be secure in the knowledge that we all support you, regardless of what you decide. You don't have to "prove yourself" or measure up to any expectations. That is absolutely not what this is about. It's about doing what is best for you, as decided by you. That's what it has always been, and that's how it will be in the future.
Much love,
Larry
You and I will be talking about all this over the next few days. Just be certain, my friend, that this decision is yours. Look over what everyone has told you, sure, but please be secure in the knowledge that we all support you, regardless of what you decide. You don't have to "prove yourself" or measure up to any expectations. That is absolutely not what this is about. It's about doing what is best for you, as decided by you. That's what it has always been, and that's how it will be in the future.
Much love,
Larry
Kuurt,
as everone else say, it is very good letter. Just remember, please, that just because you set goal for yourself of to tell her, when to tell her and such, you need to be with your heart on it and feel it is right time inside. There is not 'right' time to say such things to someone, because no matter when you tell them, they will feel upset, and maybe hurt and guilty. But you need to choose when is good for you, and not feel wrong of yourself if you do not do it when you thought you would. I will be hoping good for you.
Andrei
as everone else say, it is very good letter. Just remember, please, that just because you set goal for yourself of to tell her, when to tell her and such, you need to be with your heart on it and feel it is right time inside. There is not 'right' time to say such things to someone, because no matter when you tell them, they will feel upset, and maybe hurt and guilty. But you need to choose when is good for you, and not feel wrong of yourself if you do not do it when you thought you would. I will be hoping good for you.
Andrei
Kurt
That's a difficult letter to send, and I personally hope you do decide to send it - but the ultimate choice must be yours.
There's no bullshit in the letter, it says exactly what you feel about this guy, and does it in a way that doesn't make threats towards your mother, which is important. What she chooses to do is also up to her, and you know her better than we do, so the possible reactions must also be part of your thinking.
I know that if my mother recieved a letter like that then 'Adam' would be eating hospital food for a long while!
Dave
That's a difficult letter to send, and I personally hope you do decide to send it - but the ultimate choice must be yours.
There's no bullshit in the letter, it says exactly what you feel about this guy, and does it in a way that doesn't make threats towards your mother, which is important. What she chooses to do is also up to her, and you know her better than we do, so the possible reactions must also be part of your thinking.
I know that if my mother recieved a letter like that then 'Adam' would be eating hospital food for a long while!
Dave
Kurt - you could also be a little less polite! I don't know how old you are, and I can emphasise with your situation.
If you don't want to give your mother the letter, how about saying to him:
"You are one sick ****, and if you come anywhere near me, I will stick this (choose from drill/sander/ripsaw) up your **** with the power turned on". Maybe you are not ready for that yet, but imagine his face if you did say it!
It's because it's a secret, they have the power!
It's still only you that can decide when/if you should tell!
Best wishes ..Rik
If you don't want to give your mother the letter, how about saying to him:
"You are one sick ****, and if you come anywhere near me, I will stick this (choose from drill/sander/ripsaw) up your **** with the power turned on". Maybe you are not ready for that yet, but imagine his face if you did say it!
It's because it's a secret, they have the power!
It's still only you that can decide when/if you should tell!
Best wishes ..Rik
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
Rik makes an extremely important point. The fact that everything is a big SECRET - that's what gives Adam power over you to this very day. Once the silence is broken I bet you would see a BIG difference in the look on his face.
Pedophiles all know that t-a-l-k can also be spelled j-a-i-l.
Much love,
Larry
Rik makes an extremely important point. The fact that everything is a big SECRET - that's what gives Adam power over you to this very day. Once the silence is broken I bet you would see a BIG difference in the look on his face.
Pedophiles all know that t-a-l-k can also be spelled j-a-i-l.
Much love,
Larry
Bill_h_pike
Registrant
Rik,
While I understand your anger, I have to disagree with your advice. If Kuurt confronted his perp anything could happen. The perp could skip town. When people are backed into corners they tend to bite. Kuurt's perp could do something really bad if he feared Kuurt coming out. It's best that the perp not know that Kuurt has said anything until the police are knocking on his door.
Kuurt,
The decision is yours. Don't feel pressured to do something you aren't emotionally ready to. Disclosing is like jumping headfirst into a dark pit. Your rational mind tells you not to. However, there are lots of people here who have and can tell you things will get better if you do. I wrote a suicide note before I wrote my disclosure not. For several days I was undecided over which one I should use. The day after I diclosed I burned that suicide note. Suicide hasn't crossed my mind since.
I don't know if your a spiritual person or not. Regardless, know that you are in my prayers.
While I understand your anger, I have to disagree with your advice. If Kuurt confronted his perp anything could happen. The perp could skip town. When people are backed into corners they tend to bite. Kuurt's perp could do something really bad if he feared Kuurt coming out. It's best that the perp not know that Kuurt has said anything until the police are knocking on his door.
Kuurt,
The decision is yours. Don't feel pressured to do something you aren't emotionally ready to. Disclosing is like jumping headfirst into a dark pit. Your rational mind tells you not to. However, there are lots of people here who have and can tell you things will get better if you do. I wrote a suicide note before I wrote my disclosure not. For several days I was undecided over which one I should use. The day after I diclosed I burned that suicide note. Suicide hasn't crossed my mind since.
I don't know if your a spiritual person or not. Regardless, know that you are in my prayers.
Powerful letter did you give it to her? I hope all goes well my young friend.
lots of love, Nathan
PS: Your doing the right thing, you did nothing wrong. Telling the truth is neither right nor wrong it is just that, the truth.
lots of love, Nathan
PS: Your doing the right thing, you did nothing wrong. Telling the truth is neither right nor wrong it is just that, the truth.
Bill - note I did say that it was Kurt's choice and not mine. Kurt is the one that best knows the situation. I haven't said that Kurt should confront the perv, merely that it is another option (note I'm not ranting here, just clarifying my post).
I simply tried to reflect that the fear can be returned to where it belongs. fear that none of us should 'own'.
My suggestions with the power tools were metaphorical.
I am also pleased that you made the best choice when deciding which of your notes to use.
Best wishes ...Rik
I simply tried to reflect that the fear can be returned to where it belongs. fear that none of us should 'own'.
My suggestions with the power tools were metaphorical.
I am also pleased that you made the best choice when deciding which of your notes to use.
Best wishes ...Rik
reality2k4
Registrant
Kurt,
OK this is steep.
There are two ways, tell vs keep silent.
Whichever way, they both are going to hurt.
I cannot see any reason why your mom would put any blame on you, but if you tell, then you are worried of 'WHAT NEXT'!
If you dont tell, you are leaving yourself and others open to further risk.
Not telling leaves your mom with a 'mysterious' son.
Dont get me wrong, the best way would be to tell, but I know just how difficult that decision can be to you.
Whichever way you go, it is your choice,
ste
OK this is steep.
There are two ways, tell vs keep silent.
Whichever way, they both are going to hurt.
I cannot see any reason why your mom would put any blame on you, but if you tell, then you are worried of 'WHAT NEXT'!
If you dont tell, you are leaving yourself and others open to further risk.
Not telling leaves your mom with a 'mysterious' son.
Dont get me wrong, the best way would be to tell, but I know just how difficult that decision can be to you.
Whichever way you go, it is your choice,
ste
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt, I don't know whether you will check your thread before you do anything today, and I'm glad we had a chance to talk about things in chat this morning (me)/last night (you). I like the way Nathan puts it:
Regardless of what you decide to do today, just remember you are in our thoughts always. You aren't alone anymore. You are respected and understood here, and that won't change.
Much love,
Larry
But remember that it's your truth. What you DO with it is up to YOU and needs to reflect what YOU need and want.
Regardless of what you decide to do today, just remember you are in our thoughts always. You aren't alone anymore. You are respected and understood here, and that won't change.
Much love,
Larry