The Miracle of Forgiveness

Tedure

Registrant
Forgiveness was not a moment for me. Rather, it was a process over time when I replaced my shame with fortitude and my doubt with faith. I stopped looking at my past as the time that I was buried in sin and shame but rather it was the time that I was being planted-deep so I could grow. When shame and lust no longer became my weapons of choice, I replaced them with love and thriving. The process of forgiveness gave me the willingness to live courageously and chose love despite life's pain. Learning to be a good man despite my abuse and addictions was my vow, knowing it was not all my fault. The act of forgiveness meant I was no longer willing to carry this burden at my peril. For me, forgiveness was the acknowledgment of accepting my life's painful experiences as one variable which molded me and taught me the lessons I needed to learn but did not define me. The act of forgiveness became my bridge to sanity and released me from being perpetually tortured by my past. Enabling me to move forward reclaiming my identity as a son of God worthy of His healing power ...Connect to your Higher power, what ever that might be because when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. Remembering to keep this perspective on life is not always easy, I can get discouraged, forget, or get distracted. But it helps when I remember. Thanks for reading.
 
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KMCINVA

Registrant
Tedure

Beautifully stated. One quote resonates with me. My T stressed these words, work uses it to stimulate growth through change "when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change" It helped me realize how I looked at my past, the abuse, the torment and words and actions of others nearly pushed me to the end. Like you said changing our thoughts and how we think changes the mind, the synapses and neuron pathways begin to change. It changes our reactions to the past and the abuse. It is a difficult process and science shows these changes in the brain--neuroplasticity. It takes time and focus. For me, I know I would begin the process and then revert to old ways of thinking. After years and finding love and support, the change of how I looked at things began to take hold. I removed myself from the negativity and denials, including the ones I held, to a more positive world. I broke, or others broke ties, that put me into a negative and destructive world. The sense of freedom from the controls of the past allowed, happiness, joy and love to flourish in my new world. I know the old world will always be a part of me and accept there are people who are welcomed back into my life only if they reflect on their lives and actions. I am resolved no one will take me down again, including myself. The latter individual is the one who controls how my life moves forward.

I am happy you found your inner self and are living the life you deserve. Thank you for sharing.

Kevin
 

Tedure

Registrant
Kevin,

Thanks for your kind words. I try to never talk negative against myself or others. It goes against my happiness. Way to go, attitude is a choice! Keep happy...and heal well.

Ted
 

Tedure

Registrant
Ws ,

Thanks for you kind words, I feel the same I cry all the time, it heals me because it makes me feel...Your response inspires me to finish my book that I have been working on for the past 10 years.
Thanks again for your kind words,

Take care , Ted
 

WG

Registrant
Hi Ted - so very true. Forgiveness was something I wanted from THEM to ME - and it never came. So I was held hostage to that thinking and they rented space for free in my head.. It took years for me, along with a compassionate therapist, to get that. Instead of seeing myself as a bumbling dope, I have learned I am capable of mistakes. I make the corrections as much as it depends on me and move on. That took a long time to implement. I just thought that if I kept trying hard enough, if I could do everything right, if I could just be what they wanted me to be then I would be a real boy. That perfection was never attained so guess who thought he never became a real boy. (and, yes, Pinocchio was a difficult cartoon for me to watch as a kid). No magic for me, no Blue Fairy to touch me with a glowing wand and make me real. No Gipetto (spelling) to hold me and rejoice. None of that. Until now. I am a real man. I am living proof - just like all of the other men in here - that I am a survivor and I am OK. Yes, I have a past, and some of that has left its' mark on me, but it is not the sole definition of who I am nor is it my character.
 

Hoping

Registrant
Thanks for this, so very true and a good reminder for me as well.
Forgiveness was not a moment for me. Rather, it was a process over time when I replaced my shame with fortitude and my doubt with faith. I stopped looking at my past as the time that I was buried in sin and shame but rather it was the time that I was being planted-deep so I could grow. When shame and lust no longer became my weapons of choice, I replaced them with love and thriving. The process of forgiveness gave me the willingness to live courageously and chose love despite life's pain. Learning to be a good man despite my abuse and addictions was my vow, knowing it was not all my fault. The act of forgiveness meant I was no longer willing to carry this burden at my peril. For me, forgiveness was the acknowledgment of accepting my life's painful experiences as one variable which molded me and taught me the lessons I needed to learn but did not define me. The act of forgiveness became my bridge to sanity and released me from being perpetually tortured by my past. Enabling me to move forward reclaiming my identity as a son of God worthy of His healing power ...Connect to your Higher power, what ever that might be because when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. Remembering to keep this perspective on life is not always easy, I can get discouraged, forget, or get distracted. But it helps when I remember. Thanks for reading.
 

victor-victim

Registrant
thanks for sharing this.
i wrote this for you.
 
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