The many forms of insecurity
It may have started when the abuse did -at age 12, but I don't remember ever sleeping well, and I almost never dream. All these decades later, I still spend countless hours walking around a darkened house, looking out each window to confirm everything is alright. It's my "sentry duty." Protecting my family and the life we've built.
By day, my activities and routines never vary much either. In fact, doing the same things the same way provides a much-needed sense of security, safety and control about life. And consistency, reliability and dependability are qualities I strive for in myself and also value in others.
Although it may appear to the world that I have it all together, inside, I feel like a fraud. Years ago someone told me that the one and only person worth competing with is the man you meet at the mirror each morning as you shave. (Right. Tell that to a perfectionist!)
I just wonder how other guys cope. Thanks.
By day, my activities and routines never vary much either. In fact, doing the same things the same way provides a much-needed sense of security, safety and control about life. And consistency, reliability and dependability are qualities I strive for in myself and also value in others.
Although it may appear to the world that I have it all together, inside, I feel like a fraud. Years ago someone told me that the one and only person worth competing with is the man you meet at the mirror each morning as you shave. (Right. Tell that to a perfectionist!)
I just wonder how other guys cope. Thanks.