The Magic Pill

[brian-z]

The other night I was in a conversation in the chat room. I made a comment about recovery and healing ultimately coming down to being a choice of how you decide to live your life. The retort was, “that sounds like your saying you need to get over it.” That is not what I meant, but it seems to me that is exactly what some of you are looking for, the magic pill. Rather than spending years on a therapists couch, wringing your hands over “when do I heal,” in other words “when do I get over it”. You need to consider, that you may not get over it. That healing means acceptance, not purging your memory of every painful thing that has happened in your life. No amount to therapy, can make you want to change the way you think about how you live your life. But that is what healing is, learning to live your life in spite of negative events in your past.

 

[outis]

but it seems to me that is exactly what some of you are looking for, the magic pill.

Guilty as charged. If I could find such a pill, I'd down it in a fraction of a heartbeat. I know I can't have that pill, but I haven't stopped wanting it.

You need to consider, that you may not get over it. That healing means acceptance, not purging your memory of every painful thing that has happened in your life.

Why do you insightful people always have a mature way of looking at life?

I've read in SIA literature that we will never forget, but we can leave the pain behind as part of an old memory. Not purging, but taking from the memory its power over us.

But that is what healing is, learning to live your life in spite of negative events in your past.

The learning is hard. I think I'm trying to learn how to strip the memory of its power, and how to learn new, healthy habits. There's a helluva lot to learn. In the long run, I probably still need to learn what I will need to learn. (Yeah, that sounds goofy, but it has a kernel of truth for me right now.)

Thanks, Brian, for a really good post.

Joe

 

[James_dup1]

Brian,
Forget a trial, guilty as charged. I've been spending a lot of engery trying to find a "magic pill" for my abuse. I guess it's still part of me wanting to live in denial. If I could forget then I will be hole again. But if I just learn to accept what happened to me the in some way I'll still be broken or maybe not broken but at least twisted in some sort of way. You know Brian we call eachother brother's here, the wolf pack; well ty brother, fellow wolf.... sometimes brother need a good swift kick in the pants. So thank you for that kick in helping me see I've been running in circles. Now I need to stop and truely look at what direction I need to go. Once more thank you fellow wolf for the friendly grow to show me I need to do something else.
James

 

[Lloydy]

Brian
that's the truth, plain and simple.

Even for people like myself who 'claim' to have many of our problems sorted what you write still hits home.

You need to consider, that you may not get over it. That healing means acceptance, not purging your memory of every painful thing that has happened in your life.

I tried to make myself forget, I tried to alter what I remembered, I tried to cover it up. It doesn't work, we can't force ouselves to forget.

learning to live your life in spite of negative events in your past.

But this CAN BE A REALITY !

Dave

 

[Nathan LaChine]

Hey Brian

I think you are an ass because you tell it like it is. Yes you are right their is not magic pill. We might never get over the abuse. I proud to call you my brother.


Nathan