The Lowest Point of My Life

The Lowest Point of My Life
L

LupinIII

Registrant
This morning I went back to the crazy job I had thre months ago. From the moment I got there anxiety and panic had settled in...I felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare but the nightmare was real....then one of the guys on my "team" just started fighting with me...at 2:30Pm I had a massive panic attack and just walked out...didn't say boo to anyone and had my wife call to tell them i was on my way to the hospital...i have failed my family and myself...i thought i could do it but i couldn't...i did not quit my current job...just took the day off...but i hope the crazy people dont call my current job and rat me out thus losing all of my income...i dont like saying this but damn my mother to hell for doing this to me...i feel so low
 
My friend,

You had a setback. that's all. They happen.

The jerk who started a fight with you, being in a place that caused you stress, dealing with what you're dealing with, it's no wonder you went a little out-of-your-head. You had the strength to get out of there and get the help you needed. This is progress, not a bad thing.

Think of what happened as a learning experience. You have some ways to go in your recovery, but you did all the right things, too. You're growing and learning. These things didn't happen overnight, and they won't be healed that way (brother, do I HATE this part, too!), but they are happening.

Yes, Goddamn your mother for doing it. God Bless You, though, for keeping on.

I'm here if you need me, bro.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
i feel like i have failed...like i am breaking down and i have failed...i have let down my family and myself...i..
 
Man, I can SO relate to what you're saying, brother. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. The first time my panic over the abuse really started flooding me, I had to drop out of grad school and went from hospital to hospital and it seemed like no one could help me. I just recently started having new memories, which brought up more panic and very deep hurt. When will it end?

We're here for you.
 
You had a down thing. You kept yourself protected though, by keeping your current job. Maybe you were expecting it to be bad again, and kept yourself 'covered' with the other job? I don't know. But you took on more then you could. Now you know not to do it again. Do not beat yourself up. Just keep yourself safe and not too busy.

Leosha
 
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