The Letter (possible triggers)
Trini
When someone proposed the idea of writing this letter I was relieved because now I have a way of telling you what I cant outloud. The thing that scares me is that Im telling you about what happened, to be honest I dont really want to do that. So instead Im going to tell you how I feel on the inside and I hope that this isnt weird or anything like that.
Remember a few nights ago when I had that nightmare? You came in my room and woke me up, took some doing but you finally got me out of my dream and asked me what happened? At that moment my heart was racing and my throat was tightening and I couldnt breath, I felt like I was trapped. No words could come out, until now. I was walking down the hall in our old house, mommas house, and I could feel someone behind me. When I turned around I couldnt see a face, just big hands reaching out to me and touching me. I couldnt run away, every step I took the hallway just got longer and longer and I couldnt get away fast enough. I panicked but I didnt cry, thats what they wanted me to do. I heard him say, If you dont stop, Ill hurt your sister. I didnt want him to hurt you so I just stood there, nothing happened. Next thing I know Im lying on my bed, naked and youre in the room too. Hes getting closer to you and there is nothing I can do to stop him. So I start yelling and screaming.
Thats when you woke me up. I couldnt tell you because I thought you would hate me for dreaming about him hurting you, but there was no way to stop it. I swear I tried, but I couldnt move! Im sorry, Im so sorry.
I dont know how strong I can be anymore; I want to be strong for you. Ive always been strong for you, remember when daddy would leave and wed be sad? Id do something crazy to make you laugh like dance around with one of your dolls? Remember me as your crazy baby brother, not your messed up baby brother. If anything, thats how I want to be remember, the one to always make you laugh when we were down.
I dont want you to be upset and sad that you didnt know he was hurting me, I didnt want anyone to know. But the last time, it was so bad; but I kept my mouth shut. He told me to, he told me if I didnt I would be in big trouble.
The last few weeks have been crazy, me being suspended, mom sending me to live with you cos she cant handle dad and me. Dad leaving for a while. Its like our normal chaotic life, makes perfectly good sense to us but everyone else thinks were nuts. Maybe we are, I know we are. But it is what makes us so unique is that I know you will be there for me.
This time is a little different; I know you cant take care of me all the time. You have your own life and a boyfriend who is pretty serious about you. He tells me all the time how much he loves you and thinks of me as his baby brother even though he has 2 real brothers at home. His mom said I could stay with them, I dont think they know whats going on though, unless you told him and he told them.
I think this is enough for now; Ill always be strong of you Trini, no matter what. Youre my big sister but Im your punk little brother who will beat up anyone who messes with you. Ill always have your back.
Nyjah
When someone proposed the idea of writing this letter I was relieved because now I have a way of telling you what I cant outloud. The thing that scares me is that Im telling you about what happened, to be honest I dont really want to do that. So instead Im going to tell you how I feel on the inside and I hope that this isnt weird or anything like that.
Remember a few nights ago when I had that nightmare? You came in my room and woke me up, took some doing but you finally got me out of my dream and asked me what happened? At that moment my heart was racing and my throat was tightening and I couldnt breath, I felt like I was trapped. No words could come out, until now. I was walking down the hall in our old house, mommas house, and I could feel someone behind me. When I turned around I couldnt see a face, just big hands reaching out to me and touching me. I couldnt run away, every step I took the hallway just got longer and longer and I couldnt get away fast enough. I panicked but I didnt cry, thats what they wanted me to do. I heard him say, If you dont stop, Ill hurt your sister. I didnt want him to hurt you so I just stood there, nothing happened. Next thing I know Im lying on my bed, naked and youre in the room too. Hes getting closer to you and there is nothing I can do to stop him. So I start yelling and screaming.
Thats when you woke me up. I couldnt tell you because I thought you would hate me for dreaming about him hurting you, but there was no way to stop it. I swear I tried, but I couldnt move! Im sorry, Im so sorry.
I dont know how strong I can be anymore; I want to be strong for you. Ive always been strong for you, remember when daddy would leave and wed be sad? Id do something crazy to make you laugh like dance around with one of your dolls? Remember me as your crazy baby brother, not your messed up baby brother. If anything, thats how I want to be remember, the one to always make you laugh when we were down.
I dont want you to be upset and sad that you didnt know he was hurting me, I didnt want anyone to know. But the last time, it was so bad; but I kept my mouth shut. He told me to, he told me if I didnt I would be in big trouble.
The last few weeks have been crazy, me being suspended, mom sending me to live with you cos she cant handle dad and me. Dad leaving for a while. Its like our normal chaotic life, makes perfectly good sense to us but everyone else thinks were nuts. Maybe we are, I know we are. But it is what makes us so unique is that I know you will be there for me.
This time is a little different; I know you cant take care of me all the time. You have your own life and a boyfriend who is pretty serious about you. He tells me all the time how much he loves you and thinks of me as his baby brother even though he has 2 real brothers at home. His mom said I could stay with them, I dont think they know whats going on though, unless you told him and he told them.
I think this is enough for now; Ill always be strong of you Trini, no matter what. Youre my big sister but Im your punk little brother who will beat up anyone who messes with you. Ill always have your back.
Nyjah
