The grieving process.

[Ron1965]

Hi.I found this site many months ago. The first couple of times I was here I ended up crying. Crying is not who I am so it really caught me off guard. I have to say it felt good to cry. I feel like I have come a long way in my healing but have not been able to figure out how to grieve the loss of my childhood. I am hoping that being a part of this community I will be able to learn from others what it took to get to the grieving process.

 

[DanielQ432]

Ron, for me, it goes awareness -that something happened; acknowledgement - it was real and not a delusion of my mind; anger, then grief.

 

[Ceremony]

Welcome Ron, I hope you've learned some of what's around MS online? There's a lot to find on the home page .

There are lots of useful links about finding therapists, mindfulness, grounding and other. I've also read some things on the Forum main pages too, like the first part of the "Male Survivor" forum.

Considering the types of grieving going on, I'm sure there will be something to find. Older posts could have something too, like in the "Search" feature link above. For me, starting this since last summer, I think it's taking some time to grieve and I've done some as I go along. That deep crying just starts. It's usually not long lasting for me, unless my T is working with me on something bigger. That's been safe though. Using grounding techniques to stay present. That's a big deal, knowing the techniques to stay away from dissociation. Dissociation can hamper healing. It's a side road with forks. So, hopefully that's on the lower scale for you?

The first time I started to grieve my 12 yr old me, was an EMDR session last Wed. I've had knee surgery, so I'll be reconnecting with him next time. It's an amazing thing. But, it's also needing a client to have managed their dissociation first, and have the grounding tools. There's a lot more work than I thought, but it's time, I'm gettin' too old for this shit.

 

[newground]

hi Ron and welcome
my experience was the grieving process found me! as soon as I came to accept that something was going on that I couldn't manage I tried again to find better ways to cope M.S. was a part of that. once I began to have conversations with others who have been there the walls began to come down and then the grieving began sometimes more than I could handle, certainly not alone. supportive guys here helped me so much and therapy too as frightening as that was. It is a rocky road for sure but you are worth it
Jeff

 

[Ron1965]

Thank you for your post. I am 2 months into being separated from my wife of 15 years. The PTSD finally got to her. It hurts so bad loosing her this way.

I feel like if I could get rid of the burden these old feelings of self doubt, depression and fear have on me i would be able to make more room for happiness and a sense of belonging.

I am hoping to learn from others what they have done to help themselves get to and through their grieving process and what kind of an impact having gone through this process has had on their life.

 

[woodenshoes]

Ron

Welcome sorry for what happen to you. We are always here willing to help one another. Your among your new family.

Ws

 

[Shyshark]

Hi Ron ...

You have come to a good place.

The fact that it has made you cry is a great thing ... cry as much as you want ... you've more than earned the right to do so.
There is something else here besides tears and anguish and pain ... there are smiles and laughter ... and friends.
Grieving doesn't have to be all about what you have lost ... it can also be about what you can find.

Welcome Ron.

Sharky

 

[CelloL]

Here is an article on grieving I found:

https://www.healthspiritbody.com/grieving/

Reading the article makes me think I've been suspended in a grieving process for a very, very long time--most of my adult life. Grieving the joy I lost that I had in early childhood. Grieving the dreams I had to be playing in a major or at least significant regional orchestra. Grieving being stuck working in a dead end music publisher for 20 years, paralyzed by fear and sidetracked from what I could have been doing. Grieving over financial limitations that keep me from more professional development and reorient my dreams. Grieving over how panic disorder and phobias limited me in the past and drove me from things I wanted to do and had worked so hard to achieve. Grieving over the oppression I feel from a pile of debt.

Ron, any chance of reconciliation with your wife?

 

[Tom E.]

Hi Ron! Welcome. It's good to cry, part of healing.

 

[motmcd]

Hi, Ron!! Welcome to MS. Cry, cry, and cry again. It's a normal reaction to our feelings, and aside from the snotty nose, you feel much better when you cry it out, lol.

Tom