The Grand Canyon

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The Grand Canyon

Sometimes nowadays, I feel like the kid who has lived in the grimy old city all his life and gets the chance to see the Grand Canyon. Instead of trash littered streets and cold buildings, he sees the infinite beauty that is out there, just waiting for him to find it.

That pretty much describes me today. Finally able to see past all the trash and dirt surrounding me, to get a peek at my own Grand Canyon.

To be able to say that I am a good and decent man. That I can love without deception or motive. To be able to accept that from others, knowing I am safe with them.

To be able to realize that caring and giving of myself to others because I care, gives me something in return. That I can give away what I never thought I would have the chance to. To experience things that fill the void of things I thought were lost forever.

To realize that throughout the carnage and pain of my past, the good, caring and wondering child still survives today. And he is thriving.

Yes, I am dealing with some serious issues. And sometimes it is very, very hard to get through the day. But I know I don't carry these burdens in silence and alone anymore.

I came here hating myself. Today I like myself. Who knows? Tomorrow I may even love myself.

Just some thoughts.

Thanks, my brothers,

Marc
 
Marc
about ten years back we visited the Canyon, and being a keen photographer I got up at about 4 in the morning and walked to a very remote part to capture the sunrise.
I was moved to tears by what confronted me.

At that time I hadn't disclosed to anyone, I was in a bad way and acting out and somehow hiding it all behind my macho act. It's about the only time I can remember crying until I started recovery.

I shot 6 rolls of Fujichrome in about 2 hours, and I have a print on the wall to this day, it still moves me.

Dave
 
Marc,

Every once in a while, we are blessed with certain insights, certain revelations. It is like reminders that we are part of the universe, that we are good, we are decent. It is those reminders, those instances, that help us to make through this. You have grown so much since you been here. I am proud of you.

leosha
 
Marc,

Nice to see you having a good day! Have another one on me. What the heck take two...

Aden
 
I love the image you paint of the Grand Canyon. If you have never seen the movie Grand Canyon directed by Lawrnece Kasden, I highly recommend it. The vision you describe of the young children seeing the canyon is captured perfectly in that film.

It truly is one of the most life affirming movies I've ever seen. It speaks to the power we all have to make miracles.
 
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