The fight Part 1

Healing light

Registrant
I stopped dreaming
Stopped Believing
In me, I lost hope
Tried to cope
I existed, I survived
I'm not surprised
I saw no way out
Wondered what my life was about
Why was I born
A thorn
In my father's side
Something he didn't hide
I'd look at the moon
Pray death would come soon
Before the darkness consumed
My soul, before I condemned
Myself to the fires
For those liars
My idyllic life was fake
I wasn't about to break
I'd never been whole
Was clinging to the last bits of my soul
Forgive me father for I have sinned
My light had dimmed
As I asked for forgiveness, a break
In life, an opportunity to take
As I confessed to what I had done
They'd won
 
@Healing light, Wow, all the suffering you endured, (like many of us), the doubt and despair caused by the abuse. Then the acting
out of the fires, seeking some kind support. Now asking for forgiveness and turning to Christ. HL, help with me with the
last two words, "They'd won". It just shows me that you are an amazing survivor, I don't see how they won. You are winning the fight,
the past will always be there, we can only change the way we look at it! You are doing that and winning. I really like it. Peace and Hope!
LRD
 

Healing light

Registrant
@Healing light, Wow, all the suffering you endured, (like many of us), the doubt and despair caused by the abuse. Then the acting
out of the fires, seeking some kind support. Now asking for forgiveness and turning to Christ. HL, help with me with the
last two words, "They'd won". It just shows me that you are an amazing survivor, I don't see how they won. You are winning the fight,
the past will always be there, we can only change the way we look at it! You are doing that and winning. I really like it. Peace and Hope!
LRD
They'd won until my desperate pleas were answered
Some would say it was fate others divine intervention, even karma

I like to think something heard them because it means something can also hear others pleas

Thats part two which I will post there's 3 parts that I wrote

I was asking forgiveness for there sins believing them to be mine

Thanks for your post I appreciate it, part 2 and 3 aren't as dark

Peace and hope

HL
 

Healing light

Registrant
The fight Part 2

Was it a miracle I didn't have a clue
BUT there he was boys in blue
Signing I can help you
He didn't have any idea
It was abundantly clear
Thinking about it I was shaking with fear
The ultimate betrayal
Could be the final nail
Finnish it once and for all
The curtain call
It's what I asked for
Now I was stood at the open door
Scared to run, on the threshold
Dare I be bold
They call me the one that got away
Witness 1A
In court I'm painted as unstable
An addict not able
To remember clearly
With a family who still loves him dearly
Honestly
They'd go to any lengths to win
Cover up there sin
In the church every Sunday
BUT what about Monday
The rest of the week
It's only freedom I seek
I'm not vengeful
Just thankful
I escaped the iron gate
Was it fate
Or is something watching over me
Willing me to be free
 

Oncewaslost

Registrant
I stopped dreaming
Stopped Believing
In me, I lost hope
Tried to cope
I existed, I survived
I'm not surprised
I saw no way out
Wondered what my life was about
Why was I born
A thorn
In my father's side
Something he didn't hide
I'd look at the moon
Pray death would come soon
Before the darkness consumed
My soul, before I condemned
Myself to the fires
For those liars
My idyllic life was fake
I wasn't about to break
I'd never been whole
Was clinging to the last bits of my soul
Forgive me father for I have sinned
My light had dimmed
As I asked for forgiveness, a break
In life, an opportunity to take
As I confessed to what I had done
They'd won
Intense poem. Very good stuff.
 
You escaped the iron gate, so did I. So did so many of us. It's good to read about your fight, and how you made it. Painful, but forceful at the same time. Thank you.
 

Healing light

Registrant
You escaped the iron gate, so did I. So did so many of us. It's good to read about your fight, and how you made it. Painful, but forceful at the same time. Thank you.
Thanks very much
We did yes and I'm really glad we did

Poetry helps me channel emotions, and thoughts. Sharing it helps release them

And maybe people can identify in there own ways, know there not alone in there journey

Peace
HL
 
@Healing light, Part 2 just as powerful as Part 1. Thank you for sharing your story in this manner. It’s very painful to read your survival struggles but at the same time amazing that
you endured. Hope! LRD
 

Healing light

Registrant
@Healing light, Part 2 just as powerful as Part 1. Thank you for sharing your story in this manner. It’s very painful to read your survival struggles but at the same time amazing that
you endured. Hope! LRD
Thanks for your post
I'm sorry that we are, but Isn't it amazing that we are all here negotiating this healing journey and helping each other

I like to give power to words to my voice now, after all the years of silence

Peace
HL
 

Iv0_An

Registrant
I read the first part last week and I couldn't comment because I felt so deeply the pain in your words... Even now reading it again is making my eyes teary.
I'd never been whole
Was clinging to the last bits of my soul

I think maybe that part got me the most. Because still, no matter how horrible it was, you managed to keep your soul, despite being broken. And the second as @LRD says the second part is just as powerful.
Dare I be bold
They call me the one that got away
Witness 1A
In court I'm painted as unstable
An addict not able
To remember clearly
With a family who still loves him dearly
Honestly
They'd go to any lengths to win
And this is the part that affected me here the most. Because as I have said before, abuse is not just then, while it's happening. Abuse continue to affect us out whole life, it doesn't stop when the physical act stops. And our abusers keep certain control over our emotions and thoughts even long after they have stopped abusing us. And to face and confront these people, who were ready to make you look so small and unreliable in order to win, that is bravery that not all of us would gather in our hearts. And I really admire that.
 

Healing light

Registrant
I read the first part last week and I couldn't comment because I felt so deeply the pain in your words... Even now reading it again is making my eyes teary.


I think maybe that part got me the most. Because still, no matter how horrible it was, you managed to keep your soul, despite being broken. And the second as @LRD says the second part is just as powerful.

And this is the part that affected me here the most. Because as I have said before, abuse is not just then, while it's happening. Abuse continue to affect us out whole life, it doesn't stop when the physical act stops. And our abusers keep certain control over our emotions and thoughts even long after they have stopped abusing us. And to face and confront these people, who were ready to make you look so small and unreliable in order to win, that is bravery that not all of us would gather in our hearts. And I really admire that.
Thanks very much for your post I appreciate your words

There was a lot of deep intense emotion put into those poems

Court was extremely difficult, I wouldn't of made it through without the people around me who was beyond amazing
I never imagined the immense amount of support I would have and thank goodness because I needed it all they had my back and didn't waver
It was traumatic looking back but I think I'm pleased I did
I'm weirdly home sick right now that's a whole other story though

Thanks again for reading and for messaging
Peace
HL
 

ODAT

Registrant
HL-Part 2-WOW! What courage! How hard
that must have been. I am SO sorry you
had to through that as a boy. I’m thankful you’ve made it to the other side. We are here for you. Thank you for these powerful poems! Love that little boy, you. He did the best he could under very difficult circumstances…Be well.
 

Healing light

Registrant
HL-Part 2-WOW! What courage! How hard
that must have been. I am SO sorry you
had to through that as a boy. I’m thankful you’ve made it to the other side. We are here for you. Thank you for these powerful poems! Love that little boy, you. He did the best he could under very difficult circumstances…Be well.
Thank you for your post I appreciate it

I was a man when I finally escaped the abuse and coercive control I had faced since childhood

Little boy me survived though and endured Im proud of him he was pretty smart and resourceful.

Peace
HL
 

ODAT

Registrant
Thank you for your post I appreciate it

I was a man when I finally escaped the abuse and coercive control I had faced since childhood

Little boy me survived though and endured Im proud of him he was pretty smart and resourceful.

Peace
HL

Isn’t it amazing how smart and resourceful our little boys are with all the adversity they went through? I am truly amazed at that!
 
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