General Thoughts to Share The different ways we let all out
raffa_will_fight
Registrant
I can’t say how much this site helps me at the moment. It’s a combination of writing down my thoughts and memories (writing is my fav go to when I want to communicate something important), reading through stories, different experiences, and different perceptions of what happened. Some stories narrate clearly inhuman and evil torture. Abuse, in my opinion, is not even enough for what so many of you endured.
But I also learned here that abuse is abuse. No competition. No “likes” to rank our experiences. That, I think, is not the goal of MS.
I was just reading about the frustration a member experienced (it was an old post) by feeling unheard, misunderstood, not believed. For what I got it was of how he shared his experience. Not the first time I read comments of survivors perceiving certain “ways” of expressing an abuse as not adequate, too raw and detailed. Words that make it sound a made up story.
I get that. Sometimes certain expressions or outbursts felt unknown to me as well. Can’t say I felt offended or disturbed. It just was not “how I would do it”, if that makes sense.
I see some members finding an outlet in art. Packing the hurt and pain into a poem. Others sharing, without feeling the need to include details. Others, while writing as if it was someone else’s story, use very graphic details of their experience and use the words needed to describe how they felt, how the lived it, how they feel about it today. No censorship. No diplomacy in finally telling their story. This, I think, is what this “family” is about. Getting the pain and confusion we all feel. The doubts, the shame and the need to lessen this terrible weight with “who gets us”.
We do not need to understand how others elaborate what happened. Healing is a very delicate and personal journey. What is right for you, might be wrong for me. For me writing give me the time my brain needs to focus and find the right words to let things out. Words are important and have meanings. Calling something in a “acceptable” way for some means lessen how they felt it.
Like someone discussed in a thread, different generations probably had to deal with different ways their preps had (secluded farm vs. Online). Abuse probably has different consequences depending on age, teaching of a certain time, culture or religion. None of this lessens one experience or another.
I feel safe here. The need to sometimes ask “ignorant” questions is risky because never is offending the goal. Sharing extremely intimate thought and fears can only be done when we feel safe. What my eyes see, is not what others see. So I try to not give other’s opinion or point of view “points”. If the meaning of something is unclear, I ask.
I hope this is understood for what it is. A personal consideration. Nothing more.
But I also learned here that abuse is abuse. No competition. No “likes” to rank our experiences. That, I think, is not the goal of MS.
I was just reading about the frustration a member experienced (it was an old post) by feeling unheard, misunderstood, not believed. For what I got it was of how he shared his experience. Not the first time I read comments of survivors perceiving certain “ways” of expressing an abuse as not adequate, too raw and detailed. Words that make it sound a made up story.
I get that. Sometimes certain expressions or outbursts felt unknown to me as well. Can’t say I felt offended or disturbed. It just was not “how I would do it”, if that makes sense.
I see some members finding an outlet in art. Packing the hurt and pain into a poem. Others sharing, without feeling the need to include details. Others, while writing as if it was someone else’s story, use very graphic details of their experience and use the words needed to describe how they felt, how the lived it, how they feel about it today. No censorship. No diplomacy in finally telling their story. This, I think, is what this “family” is about. Getting the pain and confusion we all feel. The doubts, the shame and the need to lessen this terrible weight with “who gets us”.
We do not need to understand how others elaborate what happened. Healing is a very delicate and personal journey. What is right for you, might be wrong for me. For me writing give me the time my brain needs to focus and find the right words to let things out. Words are important and have meanings. Calling something in a “acceptable” way for some means lessen how they felt it.
Like someone discussed in a thread, different generations probably had to deal with different ways their preps had (secluded farm vs. Online). Abuse probably has different consequences depending on age, teaching of a certain time, culture or religion. None of this lessens one experience or another.
I feel safe here. The need to sometimes ask “ignorant” questions is risky because never is offending the goal. Sharing extremely intimate thought and fears can only be done when we feel safe. What my eyes see, is not what others see. So I try to not give other’s opinion or point of view “points”. If the meaning of something is unclear, I ask.
I hope this is understood for what it is. A personal consideration. Nothing more.
