The Decriminalization of My Rape***TRIGGERS***
Hello. I will try and condense this as good as I am able, but it's a very complicated story and a hard one to tell. I had met someone. I hadn't been in a relationship where I felt any real connection for a very long time. I wasn't looking for one, in fact I was perfectly content on my own. When he came along, I was in the process of buying my first home, I had been a wholesale manager for a very profitable company in the San Fran Bay area for 10 years, I had $28k saved and the world I had by the tail. He had a folder in his hand when he got to my door. We had talked online, and he said he was tired of the drug life and needed help. I agreed hesitantly to help after seeing the photos in the folder where his head looked like a watermelon in a home invasion/drug deal gone wrong. I promised to be his anchor. Wasn't I the fool? At any rate, by the time the first assault happened, which was my 40th birthday, he had already wiped all my credit cards out, stole quite a few thousand dollars from me, and did it within a few days time. I lost my job because of him 4 days after buying my house. We had broken up, but I wanted an admission from him, so I kept that contact open, but moreover, I was heartbroken that I could be so dumb. Also, I was taking lots of anxiety meds and everything was "alright", when it really wasn't. I am a kind person. I am always helping people. In this case I helped him help himself to everything I had. I didn't know that I had been raped on my birthday, but I became so sick afterward and I don't remember anything at all about what I did, where I went, nothing. When I finally started to feel better, and got up, I found that my laptop was smashed, my passport was gone, my jewelry had been stolen, and I was just so sick. I had a friend fix my laptop and when I brought it home I found a bunch of videos that my laptop just automatically motion detect recorded. Trying to filter through them I came upon the day before my birthday, and I was in bed asleep, and I don't remember ever inviting him that time, but he was there in bed next to me taking pictures of my address book and journals with his cell phone, while smoking meth and blowing the smoke in my face while I was having a nightmare. I threw his ass out over it, but then I was alone again. On Christmas day, he called and asked if I could come meet him at the pier which was about 15 miles away. That ended up being a very cruel cat and mouse game. I was so hurt. On Jan.2 I allowed him to come by because he said I had given him VD, which was ridiculous because I hadn't been sleeping around with anyone, unlike him, who is a sex addict, and I intended to prove I had no diseases, and indeed had nothing.
Moving on, we got into another fight didn't see him til Valentine's morning. I didn't want him at my house, so I met him at the park down the road. He was looking his best that day, I remember. He had a smile cross his face when I showed up. I missed the dog so much. I don't remember leaving the park, or getting home, only waking up early afternoon. My roommate's boyfriend had stopped by, and she and him were going to spend some time intimately, so we decided to go out. I was still sick, so I didn't want to stay out too late, but he wouldn't take me home each time I asked until I finally started getting pissed. So right before we get to my exit he says he needs to stop at a friends. Before we leave her house, he brings me my iced tea, and we leave shortly thereafter around 1AM. As we got onto the freeway I remember feeling dizzy, and out of control instantly getting afraid of what my body was doing, and I rolled my head over to him and asked "what is wrong with me?" He didn't even look my way, just simply said "you're just sick." It's the last thing I remember. He then drove my unconscious body to a friend of his' house. The friend threw my body in the back seat, and crawled back there with me, immediately starting to rape me. They drove me to the Oakland Coliseum where one of their other friends worked, so that they could wake me up, so that I would know what was happening. According to the person telling the story, I began to fight the friend and once I started to "fuck him up" as he said, they all jumped me, and my now ex boyfriend kicked me in the face and knocked me down. I was told that I was trying to humanize myself because I thought they were going to kill me. I didn't know where I was or what was going on, and I was clearly outnumbered, lost, and still so groggy from the drug. I don't know much more other than I kept saying I wanted my Mother. Then I woke up. I was on my couch. I remember him painting a lamp shade on my sofa. I was across from him on the other sofa. A friend of mine texted me and asked could he come by cuz it was late. I said of course, and that was reason enough for my ex to start treating me like shit. I thought we had such a fantastic day out, I had even wrote him a love letter thanking him for that day, cuz I knew it wouldn't last. While I was writing that note, he was on my phone, planning my demise.
Moving on, I remember taking my laptop upstairs and into the bathroom with me. I had been painting my house and I had paint and some aluminum tape in the bathroom. When I discovered the rape tape, I only did so, because I found a piece of aluminum tape, painted black that covered up my webcam light, and the window was buried behind several other windows. The video looks like nothing significant at first sight. Matter fact throughout the video. However, on the video my ex was talking shit about the girlfriend of his' whose house we were at when I got drugged and I invited her over to see it after I had kicked him out for being such a dick to me. The first thing she saw was I was wearing a different shirt, then she asked why I looked like I was so drugged, and finally she said "who is that whispering in the background?" That is how I found out that my ex, my new friends, including the one who stopped by were all in on this horrible event, which had destroyed every part of me. When the video was made, someone asks this question: "how many people have already raped him?". The answer: "53...and counting." They had told different lies to different people to get them over to rape me. They took me to the parking lot of a $5 dollars a head. Luckily there was a nurse practitioner among them, who "stitched me right up with dissolving stitches", which was good according to the storyteller, because my "asshole looked like hamburger meat, and it was gross." I took my tape to police, who have done nothing but ignore me. I finally got the attention of someone in city council who probably got sick of my emails, but I sent an impact statement to the detective letting him know what he had done to my life with his bias and inaction, and attached 3 audio clips with 3 different names all stating they were going to rape me, had already raped me, or were in the throws of raping me right then. Then for a minute they seemed like they were going to help, then like everyone else. Nothing. I would learn later that also among the uninvited guests hiding in my home, was an employee of the district attorneys office, who asks for and is given my medical record number. I just got a copy of that record, and it states that I'm delusional. These people are evil. I am not crazy. If I were I wouldn't have got the attention of victim witness, The GLBT center, the city council, etc. However, I only get one or two emails and then nothing. I can't move on from this. I am in a catacomb of this never ending nightmare that is more like a sci-fi movie than real life. Ok, that's the first half. I'll tell more later. Thanks for having me.
Moving on, we got into another fight didn't see him til Valentine's morning. I didn't want him at my house, so I met him at the park down the road. He was looking his best that day, I remember. He had a smile cross his face when I showed up. I missed the dog so much. I don't remember leaving the park, or getting home, only waking up early afternoon. My roommate's boyfriend had stopped by, and she and him were going to spend some time intimately, so we decided to go out. I was still sick, so I didn't want to stay out too late, but he wouldn't take me home each time I asked until I finally started getting pissed. So right before we get to my exit he says he needs to stop at a friends. Before we leave her house, he brings me my iced tea, and we leave shortly thereafter around 1AM. As we got onto the freeway I remember feeling dizzy, and out of control instantly getting afraid of what my body was doing, and I rolled my head over to him and asked "what is wrong with me?" He didn't even look my way, just simply said "you're just sick." It's the last thing I remember. He then drove my unconscious body to a friend of his' house. The friend threw my body in the back seat, and crawled back there with me, immediately starting to rape me. They drove me to the Oakland Coliseum where one of their other friends worked, so that they could wake me up, so that I would know what was happening. According to the person telling the story, I began to fight the friend and once I started to "fuck him up" as he said, they all jumped me, and my now ex boyfriend kicked me in the face and knocked me down. I was told that I was trying to humanize myself because I thought they were going to kill me. I didn't know where I was or what was going on, and I was clearly outnumbered, lost, and still so groggy from the drug. I don't know much more other than I kept saying I wanted my Mother. Then I woke up. I was on my couch. I remember him painting a lamp shade on my sofa. I was across from him on the other sofa. A friend of mine texted me and asked could he come by cuz it was late. I said of course, and that was reason enough for my ex to start treating me like shit. I thought we had such a fantastic day out, I had even wrote him a love letter thanking him for that day, cuz I knew it wouldn't last. While I was writing that note, he was on my phone, planning my demise.
Moving on, I remember taking my laptop upstairs and into the bathroom with me. I had been painting my house and I had paint and some aluminum tape in the bathroom. When I discovered the rape tape, I only did so, because I found a piece of aluminum tape, painted black that covered up my webcam light, and the window was buried behind several other windows. The video looks like nothing significant at first sight. Matter fact throughout the video. However, on the video my ex was talking shit about the girlfriend of his' whose house we were at when I got drugged and I invited her over to see it after I had kicked him out for being such a dick to me. The first thing she saw was I was wearing a different shirt, then she asked why I looked like I was so drugged, and finally she said "who is that whispering in the background?" That is how I found out that my ex, my new friends, including the one who stopped by were all in on this horrible event, which had destroyed every part of me. When the video was made, someone asks this question: "how many people have already raped him?". The answer: "53...and counting." They had told different lies to different people to get them over to rape me. They took me to the parking lot of a $5 dollars a head. Luckily there was a nurse practitioner among them, who "stitched me right up with dissolving stitches", which was good according to the storyteller, because my "asshole looked like hamburger meat, and it was gross." I took my tape to police, who have done nothing but ignore me. I finally got the attention of someone in city council who probably got sick of my emails, but I sent an impact statement to the detective letting him know what he had done to my life with his bias and inaction, and attached 3 audio clips with 3 different names all stating they were going to rape me, had already raped me, or were in the throws of raping me right then. Then for a minute they seemed like they were going to help, then like everyone else. Nothing. I would learn later that also among the uninvited guests hiding in my home, was an employee of the district attorneys office, who asks for and is given my medical record number. I just got a copy of that record, and it states that I'm delusional. These people are evil. I am not crazy. If I were I wouldn't have got the attention of victim witness, The GLBT center, the city council, etc. However, I only get one or two emails and then nothing. I can't move on from this. I am in a catacomb of this never ending nightmare that is more like a sci-fi movie than real life. Ok, that's the first half. I'll tell more later. Thanks for having me.
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