The basics about me (10 facts)


1. When I was 11 or 12, I was molested by my older brother, 4.5 years older.
2. He also orally raped me once, something he called "punishment" at the time. Afterwards, he told me I was gay.
3. I was also a victim of emotional or covert invest by my mother. Right now that's harder to write than the other things.
4. She also molested me.
5. There was also verbal abuse. Sometimes I think that had the longest lasting damage.
6. When I remember the sexual abuse, I get aroused, and I hate that more than I can say.
7. I black out part of the memory of my rape. Because I can't remember it all, can't remember the actual act, I doubt myself, or used to.
8. Self-harm is part of my struggle. Haven't done it in a long time, but still struggle.
9. I feel immasculine.
10. I learn about healing from stories like mine AND stories that are different.
AND, clearly, you came to the right place with those basics behind you. I'm sorry you experienced such things but then such things were the reality for all of the men here... we are survivors of trauma after all. I'm glad you found us and chose to introduce yourself. I encourage you to ramble around this website and when you feel inspired to join the conversation. You will doubtless encounter kindred spirits with whom you can share both your experiences and your healing journey. All the best to you and welcome.

C. E. (Chase Eric)

Staff member
I really like your intro. Except for #4, I relate to the fundamental issues in each and every point, even if some of the details are different. I'm sorry for what brought you here, but grateful to find another brother in healing.
Welcome NewGerasene.

From my youth I know what 3,4,5,6,7,9 are like. My rapes came from much older schoolmates when I was 8, and they told me I was their girlfriend.

I'm sorry that all of that happened to you.

The Bluefoot

Welcome NewGerasene, You have come to the right place, sorry for what you have gone through. We all have been to hell and back and some still live in hell like me. Thought at age 57 its only in my mind. Somedays its like I was 14 all over again. Please read our stories and share when you can, ask questions. we heal here and make friends, and find peace.