THE B*****D TOOK PICTURES! (EXTREMELY STRONG TRIGGERS!)

THE B*****D TOOK PICTURES! (EXTREMELY STRONG TRIGGERS!)
C

crisispoint

Registrant
WARNING WARNING WARNING! EXTREMELY STRONG, GRAPHIC TRIGGERS! DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES READ THIS IF YOU AREN'T GROUNDED OR ARE VERY EASILY TRIGGERED!


Now, I've had a truly bizarre week and I felt pretty good regardless, comfortable too in the fact that I thought, except for little, humiliating things, I had all the awful memories back of the childhood abuse I suffered. I was wrong.

I woke up crying this morning. Because I remember. I remember that the bastard took pictures.

He fucking infantized me, took humiliating pictures of an 11 year old boy in poses usually done for babies. He fucking infantized an 11 year old boy to humiliate him and have something to oogle over later in life!

I remember he had an instant camera, a fucking Polaroid One-Step, the same that my mother had. He did things to me when I was naked, he MADE ME do things! He SHOWED me the pictures and kept them in a fucking baby book.

He called me his baby. HIS FUCKING BABY!

HE DID THIS SHIT TO ME AND HE HAS PICTURES! :o :mad:

How the Hell do I live with this shit now? :(

I'm sorry for the graphic stuff. I need to talk about it, but there's nothing else to say. This animal could still be alive, still be abusing me in his mind and he has his Goddamn trophy to prove it.

I am so appalled and ashamed. It's not my fault, but he's made it my fault.

:(
Scot
 
Scot,

I feel for you and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I wish I could say something that could make it all better, but I can't.

If there is anything I can do, let me know.
 
I don't know your entire situation, but I do know that if he is still alive, and he does still have the pictures, he can still be arrested. If for nothing else, he can be arrested for possesion of child porn.

Other than that, all I can say is: :(
 
Scot my brother Mike has a point and a good one. Scot you were 11 years old for gods sake and had no control over the situation whatsoever and have no guilt. Forgive the little Scot ok. Only you can do that.

Scot you can pm me anytime you like ok

Yeh you remember something else and it really hurts and that is natural but remember you are now in control.
 
I fear for this. I've been afraid of this since I started remembering.

I could be out there for other perverts.

I could still be victimized by him even after all these years.

People who KNOW me may have seen them.

Mike, I DO forgive little Scot. It wasn't his fault. The ADULT feels the shame for what he had to go through because he COULDN'T say no.

I feel rage for this man. If it wasn't possible to hate him even worse before, it IS possible now.

If I EVER see this bastard alive again, I don't care how old or sick or crippled he is, I will kill him. I will make him beg for Hell, and he will give me back those pictures first.

I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way. I hate him for what he did. I hate him for the disgusting things he made me do. I hate him for everything.

I don't know how I'll live with this, but I will, because it's not MY fault. It's HIS and one day, I swear he will pay for it all.

Scot
 
Scot
you're right to be fucking mad, and at HIM.

Young Scot couldn't have stopped it happening at all, it wasn't your fault. Kid's do what adults tell them to do in the end. Kid's KNOW that adult's threats can be real, and painful, so we did what they said.

Use your anger Scot, direct it in the direction it has to go - at him. That way you'll have none left to aim at yourself.

Dave
 
They're right, Scot, you did nothing wrong. I know how enfuriating this can be - pictures were taken of me too and one of my perps also called me "baby" all the time. It really triggered me to read your story (yes, I still need to learn to listen to the warnings) because I know what it feels like to have no control over a terrible situation (I think we all do).

I'm not really very good at offering support, all I can say is that I'm truly sorry this happened to you and I'll be praying for you.
God bless you, Scot (and all the brothers here),
Nao
 
Scot,

I've got an image for you to replace these others floating around in your head. They don't call me the king of fantasy for nothing, you know.
How about you, me and a couple of the other guys, who I know would be willing, to find this guy, ring his door bell, say, "Candy Gram," push the door open, maybe knocking him to the floor, asking him to not bother getting up, going through his papers, finding his "baby book," destroying it in the fireplace, but preserving the child porn we would find for the officer we would have with us, the one with the search warrant, who would lead the prosecution for trying this guy, so that he would get the jail time that he deserves...100 years!!
Scotd man, the guy tried hard to crush you, but you know what, you wouldn't crumble. You may feel some bad stuff but you have given nothing but power and stength here to us, who have needed it. Keep coming back with your good and your bad because we need you however you show up and we gain from your insight and encouragement.
Thank you for all that you do for us!!!

David
 
Scot,

The things they do to children are disgusting. I hope that you can find he never "traded" the pictures.

Even though the memory is just coming back now, and it feels "new," it does not really change who you are. You are still the good man who does so much to help people. You are still the brave man who will look into the worst times of your past and work to throw off their effects in your life. You only know these "new" things because you have the courage to look in honesty at yourself, and the strength to bear what you find.

I'm glad you've come here to share that strength with us. Thank you for that kindness.

Joe
 
scot,
i had to skip this at first, then i had to fast forward through it...i just wanted you to know that i am also here with you. we have both been going through some pretty rough spots lately and continue to be there for each other. that is what this site and brother are about. i feel so damned weak sometimes, but i know that being here and continuing to share even what little i can does contribute. pm me if you need to, bro, i am always there for you. take care, scot.
 
Scot,

I am sorry. One of mine had also taken photos.

You are not his "baby". Never was and never will be. He is just a sicko.

These photos are not "trophies", these are nooses that they can hang themselves with.

My thoughts are with you,
Bill
 
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