The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
So my girlfriend and I and two other friends are out at dinner the other night, and then go out to a bar thathas some very nice live music most of the week. So we go there, do some dancing (not me, I do not dance; it is rather like Karyokie; not only would I need to be very drunk, but so would all who have to witness it), but just sitting back talking some, rather enjoying the evening for the most part.
As we were leaving, we see something occuring in the parking lot between three men and a lady. Me, I can not often be accused of being 'politcaly correct' or tactful. And in emergent situations, I can not be often accused of being calm and coolheaded. I just yell out and start running immediately over there. My friend, he tell the girls to go back inside, stay inside and call the police, before he comes over to there with me. (And I must say, it was relief to me that he DID come over to, although I had no right to expect him to; and I later was thinking of it and found amusement, how these three men think all they must do is kick MY butt, and then see a huge and at times intimidating guy show up as well! ha) There was a bit of a situation, some words and even some punches thrown in the short time before the police show up. And in actuality, the situation probably was not so much to begin with, but these guys are drunk and just being idiots. (we were not drunk, but perhaps still the idiots).
My girlfriend was, and still is, a bit peeved about this. I used to negative cope some by going out and seeking fights, because to have someone beating me up made me feel more 'normal'. I have not done that in a year and half. Although last year, my nextdoor neighbors got into a domestic dispute that I got involved in, to protect the girl.
My girlfriend insists that what we should have done is just call the police and perhaps watch from the bar, but not get involved if it didn't seem we needed to. She says that we are quite lucky that there was just a few drunk idiots and not members of some 'knife and gun club'. I credit her with that, in that perhaps I act too hasty at times.
But seriously. Who can see something that looks like possible abuse or assault happening and not want to actively stop it? She accused me that night of 'finding a way of indulging' in my previous self-harm behaviors, without actively doing it. That I get by it on 'technicality'.
It is not that I seek out violence anymore. But with this happening right there and right then, what else should we have done? It is not that it was just me acting, it was my friend also. She contends at least he asked that they call the police first. Well sure. And if these guys did have guns or knives or some other weapon, there would still be two bodies there when the police get there. THey just would have gotten there a few minutes sooner.
So was it right thing, or is it a way for me to inflict pain on myself without doing it TO myself? It was not something I thought on. I just acted, as did my friend. I told her I would like to think that someone would have acted the same if it had been her. She couldn't respond to that. But we are still edgy with each other after this.
Leosha
As we were leaving, we see something occuring in the parking lot between three men and a lady. Me, I can not often be accused of being 'politcaly correct' or tactful. And in emergent situations, I can not be often accused of being calm and coolheaded. I just yell out and start running immediately over there. My friend, he tell the girls to go back inside, stay inside and call the police, before he comes over to there with me. (And I must say, it was relief to me that he DID come over to, although I had no right to expect him to; and I later was thinking of it and found amusement, how these three men think all they must do is kick MY butt, and then see a huge and at times intimidating guy show up as well! ha) There was a bit of a situation, some words and even some punches thrown in the short time before the police show up. And in actuality, the situation probably was not so much to begin with, but these guys are drunk and just being idiots. (we were not drunk, but perhaps still the idiots).
My girlfriend was, and still is, a bit peeved about this. I used to negative cope some by going out and seeking fights, because to have someone beating me up made me feel more 'normal'. I have not done that in a year and half. Although last year, my nextdoor neighbors got into a domestic dispute that I got involved in, to protect the girl.
My girlfriend insists that what we should have done is just call the police and perhaps watch from the bar, but not get involved if it didn't seem we needed to. She says that we are quite lucky that there was just a few drunk idiots and not members of some 'knife and gun club'. I credit her with that, in that perhaps I act too hasty at times.
But seriously. Who can see something that looks like possible abuse or assault happening and not want to actively stop it? She accused me that night of 'finding a way of indulging' in my previous self-harm behaviors, without actively doing it. That I get by it on 'technicality'.
It is not that I seek out violence anymore. But with this happening right there and right then, what else should we have done? It is not that it was just me acting, it was my friend also. She contends at least he asked that they call the police first. Well sure. And if these guys did have guns or knives or some other weapon, there would still be two bodies there when the police get there. THey just would have gotten there a few minutes sooner.
So was it right thing, or is it a way for me to inflict pain on myself without doing it TO myself? It was not something I thought on. I just acted, as did my friend. I told her I would like to think that someone would have acted the same if it had been her. She couldn't respond to that. But we are still edgy with each other after this.
Leosha
