That's alright

That's alright

alexey

Registrant
Hi, guys,

What I've wanted to say is that I'm still alive and it's hard to go through the pain. Despair is right out the door again. Why is it with me? I'm not feeling good, but that is the life. Thanks for your support, and we are together here. That's good.

Alexey
 
Alexey,

First of all, big hugs...hang in there.

Dealing with what happened to you is like riding a rollercoaster. There is so much to think about, so much to understand, and every time we think we have something figured out it seems to just bring another new problem along or mess up something we thought we had sorted out.

There is also the problem, bro, that sexual abuse IS just about the worst thing that can happen to a boy, at least that's how I see it. The old feelings of terror and shame keep coming back when we least expect them, and yes, some days it feels like despair is just waiting to ambush us again. Just last night, for example, I was sitting with my parents, younger sister, and a good friend at the kitchen table, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with fear and began crying. I felt like "it" could happen again any moment. Those episodes do come up, and that's just how things are I guess. But I was with safe people and I could talk about this with them, and in a few minutes the dread had passed.

The thing to remember Alexey is that all this is a 100% normal reaction to what happened to you. We have all been through this, and there is nothing "wrong" with you. You are not "failing". This is just how things go sometimes. Abuse isn't just a physical disaster, it is an emotional one as well, and recovering from it will ALWAYS involve coping with a lot of very strong feelings.

But we are all with you, and as you say, we are all together here.

Much love,
Larry
 
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