Thanks Niels

roadrunner

Registrant
I think it's appropriate that you all know that this forum is here as a direct result of an initiative that Niels made with me a short while ago. He put forward a cogent idea and all I had to do was hang it on the wall in the Mod Forum so we could discuss it.

You guys do make a difference on the site. When you have suggestions, complaints or ideas, please let us know. We won't be able to accommodate every option, of course, but you are listened to and your views are respected here.

Larry, aka roadrunner
MoidTeam Coordinator
 

Niels

Registrant
Thank you too Larry and Modteam for seeing the need for this forum. So many men here on the forum will benefit from breaking this taboo and see that they are not alone and hopefully find inspiration, strength and healing writing, sharing and offering insight about the issues they are facing recovering from abuse by females.

Survivors of abuse by females share many of the same issues as survivors of abuse by males, but many feel that they are not being taking seriously and feel almost invisible and alone even among the survivors here. Some issues are very special for survivors of female abusers: like ever being able to enjoy intimacy with a woman again. In some ways it can probably be compared to the conflict a gay male survivor of abuse by males can have being able to enjoy intimacy with another man.

During the years I have exchanged PM with men and women wishing that a forum like this existed, and here it is! I hope this will aid survivors of abuse by females to process, understand and recover.

Like you allways write Larry

Much Love, Niels
 

SubtleStuff

Registrant
Niels said:
So many men here on the forum will benefit from breaking this taboo and see that they are not alone and hopefully find inspiration, strength and healing writing, sharing and offering insight about the issues they are facing recovering from abuse by females.
I'm sure I'll be one of them. I just got on to this site and was immediately attracted to Niels' thread before this forum was set up. Being that sexual abuse issues in my life focus uniquely on my mother, that it's all covert in my memory,and support anywhere is virtually non-existent, it's a tremendous relief to me to have this support. Thank you guys.

Niels said:
Survivors of abuse by females share many of the same issues as survivors of abuse by males, but many feel that they are not being taking seriously and feel almost invisible and alone. Some issues are very special for survivors of female abusers: like ever being able to enjoy intimacy with a woman again.
Boy does this ring true for me. I read a bit about why Hani Miletski wrote her book on mother-son incest. She said, "I wrote the first edition of this book in 1994 (first published in 1995, by the Safer Society Press) as my Masters thesis. At that time, I knew nothing about Mother-Son Incest, and believed, like many others, that this form of incest is very rare, if it even existed. I chose Mother-Son Incest as my topic because I selfishly believed my thesis would be a piece of cake; all I would need to do, I thought, was to explain why Mother-Son Incest does not happen, and my work would be done.Boy was I wrong!"

One of the main things I would like in my life is at least one woman who I can get close to physically and share a deeply healing intimacy. Given that I can't sleep with a woman without getting deeply depressed (I tried that two years ago), it's not an easy project. I'm sure this forum will help a great deal.

Thanks guys!

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all better.

Cheers,

Garth
 

Niels

Registrant
Hi Garth: Happy to see that you found our little corner of MS! I also look forward getting to know you better in your own pace.

And you are right: Mother-son incest is sadly much more common than too many in society would liek to think. Or they diminish the impact and damage it does - Saying something like "Well at least it wasn't your father"!!

I hope that you will work on overcoming your aversion to women and that you will be able to feel comfortable around a woman again. It is a process and you probably have to find a woman that wants to take it super slow and give you the time you need. I really believe it is possible to get this deeply healing and loving relationship you are looking for, if you are able to overcome your fears - but it is going to be a teamwork between you and that woman.

Best Wishes

Niels
 

SubtleStuff

Registrant
Thanks Niels,

I was originally going to quote your last message, but in the end found I couldn't omit any of it. It all rings true to me!

One of the things I've found really helpful for me is to put out to a woman who is for some reason or other entering my life, my need for a healing connection. So far it has shown me very clearly, who is still engaged in the power struggle/ battle of the sexes and who is actually interested in mutual healing. It's helped alot. I realized a while ago that without the support of men, it's a project destined for failure... too much at stake and not enough support. This group is helping that way in a big way.

After I posted my thoughts on Friday my body went through a massive detox. It felt like I had the flu without a fever. I did some detox routines and I feel fine today. I breathe much more easily too! I'm constantly amazed at the effect my mind/emotional state has on my body.

I ran across an approach to healing for heterosexuals a while ago that gave me the idea that it might be possible to heal. I thought I'd share it with you in case you hadn't heard of it. It's a book called "Peace between the Sheets" by Marnia Robinson. www.reuniting.info. It's been good for me to at least read about her approach to healing. And like you said, Neils, it's slow, very slow.

Thanks for all your help.

Cheers,

Garth
 

roadrunner

Registrant
I have been up to my eyes in admin stuff recently and so have not been able to check to see how you guys are doing here. It's great to see the response. Clearly this was a need just waiting to be filled and I'm so glad you are all here and sharing your thoughts and issues on this important topic.

Keep up the good work! Seeing you sharing here reminds me of my first days on MS when my thought over and over again was, "OMG, I'm really NOT alone!"

Much love,
Larry
 
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