Thank you
Thank you
- Thread starterzookeeper
- Start date
Z -
I didn't start dealing with all my "stuff" until I was in my 30s. after a couple of years of therapy, I thought I could handle it. but I wasn't done. a couple of decades later everything fell apart again. this time I think I have done a more thorough job - with the help of another therapist, my wife's support, the resources and friends I have found at MS, and whatever wavering faith I had left in God.
stick around. it can get better for you.
Lee
I didn't start dealing with all my "stuff" until I was in my 30s. after a couple of years of therapy, I thought I could handle it. but I wasn't done. a couple of decades later everything fell apart again. this time I think I have done a more thorough job - with the help of another therapist, my wife's support, the resources and friends I have found at MS, and whatever wavering faith I had left in God.
stick around. it can get better for you.
Lee
I have worked in the helping professions for years. Interesting how I can spent a lifetime trying to mend other people's wounds and totally denying my own. Perhaps I used it as a coping mechanism--"if I serve broken people nobody will notice that I have arrived in a thousand shattered pieces."
woodenshoes
Registrant
Zookeeper
I think we all fall into helping others. It gives us hope that we too may be able to be put back together. I think sometime we construe our thinking into believing it is love for us we never had at younger age. I was a giver almost all my life till i woke up and realized i was doing all the giving and everyone else was taking. You will find understanding here of the emotions your going through. We either are on this journey ahead of you or behind you but the emotions we all feel are similliar in a lot of ways.
Ws
I think we all fall into helping others. It gives us hope that we too may be able to be put back together. I think sometime we construe our thinking into believing it is love for us we never had at younger age. I was a giver almost all my life till i woke up and realized i was doing all the giving and everyone else was taking. You will find understanding here of the emotions your going through. We either are on this journey ahead of you or behind you but the emotions we all feel are similliar in a lot of ways.
Ws
Hey Zookeep - similarly to you, i've spent decades at work (and in life) finding my value in helping others; was (and IS) a convenient way to avoid dealing with my own stuff. But just this year, started taking steps, like joining this forum, to direct some therapeutic efforts at myself. Seems you and i are in good company, lots of guys on this shaky boat, trying to stay above water. Glad you're seeing land through that telescope! (Don't know if that works, but just to try another metaphor, besides the light/tunnel one). Keep fighting the good fight - kw
Hi Zookeeper - Welcome. Sorry for the reason(s) you are here, but just the same, welcome. This is a good place. A safe place - unlike some of the places we have all known. I told no one for decades what was done to me. I'm now almost 62 and have just begun in the last 2 years to speak of it all. My loving, long-suffering wife has gone through much. She often thought something was amiss, not quite right or out of focus somehow. Thought it was her, I didn't like her, was running around on her, something. I finally picked up the telephone - it weighed a thousand pounds at that moment - and made my first ever appointment. The first of many.It has been worth every tear, every hurtful revelation, every event that has finally surfaced. To finally bring this into the light. By profession, I am a counselor - I work with addicts & alcoholics, many of whom are newly released from prison. Funny, here I was helping them all these years when I hadn't been released from my own 'prison' yet.
Again, welcome. We're all here walking this road together. Don't give up. We haven't.
Again, welcome. We're all here walking this road together. Don't give up. We haven't.
Zookeeper
Sorry for why you are here but glad you have found this haven of safety and respository of knowledge and support. Many here share both your lifelong pursuit of helping others and putting others first thinking others need more and deserve more. Hopefully here you can find the path not only to surviving but thriving. Welcome.
Manipulated.
Sorry for why you are here but glad you have found this haven of safety and respository of knowledge and support. Many here share both your lifelong pursuit of helping others and putting others first thinking others need more and deserve more. Hopefully here you can find the path not only to surviving but thriving. Welcome.
Manipulated.
I understand WG. I have worked in the DD/MH field for years as the operations manager for a support service provider that employed over 300 people. We served people across 5 counties. I also am clergy and pastor a small church.
Until the panic attacks started, I really did think that the childhood issues were neatly wrapped up and has nothing to do with my current problems. So I have found denial is a great way to travel until the wheels fall off. To complicate matters, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. The double hit was more that I could take and I had a substantial melt down. I am retired due to my disability and only assist when old clients or church members ask for help.
I have worked with a personal therapist but never in group. I didn't know this group existed. I guess I should have looked harder. My therapist was a nice guy but out of his realm with an adult male survivor. I have researched and listened to Chris A speak a number of times. I felt, if he was any indication, that this might be a good fit and that I might find some tools, techniques and support. Thus far, I seem to be batting a 1,000.
Until the panic attacks started, I really did think that the childhood issues were neatly wrapped up and has nothing to do with my current problems. So I have found denial is a great way to travel until the wheels fall off. To complicate matters, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. The double hit was more that I could take and I had a substantial melt down. I am retired due to my disability and only assist when old clients or church members ask for help.
I have worked with a personal therapist but never in group. I didn't know this group existed. I guess I should have looked harder. My therapist was a nice guy but out of his realm with an adult male survivor. I have researched and listened to Chris A speak a number of times. I felt, if he was any indication, that this might be a good fit and that I might find some tools, techniques and support. Thus far, I seem to be batting a 1,000.
Zookeeper - I'm in the chemical dependency/MH field and have been for over 10 years - and like you, thought the childhood piece was all nearly taken care of - until the next crisis came. Or another nightmare - and as you say - the wheels fell off.I, too, have a terrific therapist and am both relieved that I can talk freely there and challenged each time to move forward because I can get really good at avoiding and denying - funny how that works.....but I keep going since, as I have said before, if it's worth doing, its worth doing poorly at first.
As you said, "Thus far I seem to be batting 1,000" - to which I would add - SWING FOR THE FENCE !
As you said, "Thus far I seem to be batting 1,000" - to which I would add - SWING FOR THE FENCE !
