Thank you for turning a victim into a suspect!

I don't know if I can stay either.

I feel like all eyes are turned to me with suspicion. Because I'm new.

So now no one may believe me either. Feels like I am seven again and being told I am a filthy liar.

This is my last hope. I don't want to leave, but in addition to all the other s**t I have to deal with, now I have to realize that because of some idiot, I am suspect.

Thanks a lot, Nao/Heather. For stabbing me again!

The sun is gone.

Marc

 

[MikeNY]

With what I've read of your posts, I believe you truly belong here Marc. Not to mention that you have taken some actions to support that you do.

 

[LupinIII]

Man, I hope you delete this post. No one has said anything to ya...you are thinking this on your own accord. Don't let someone you have never met drive you away from help.

What you resist persists my friend.

 

[onlyakid]

Marc,
I believe you. Ok, so Nao wasn't real, thats 1 person, I'm not going to let that BITCH (I hope she's reading this) spoil the recovery of people just because she wants to write a book (supposedly).

I can't speak for anyone else but I know I will help you in anyway I can.

BTW, You told on your abuser and your parents didn't believe you? What assholes! I'm sorry to insult your parents, but thats what they were acting like, they may be nice people but they screwed up this one.

 

Need to clear something up. My parents knew. My attacker was my step-father (the only father I ever knew) and my mom was in the room the first time he did it.

And no Lupin, no one said anything to me directly, but I read about waiting for someone to be here awhile several times in the posts regarding this whole nightmare.

 

[RICK57]

Marc - I added a comment that said I should maybe wait a while before responding to someone new here...I followed that up with a comment in the same posting that said I still must take people at face value. I cannot deny anyone support just because some ignorant cow has attempted to screw us all up!

YOU STILL HAVE MY SUPPORT & I STILL BELIEVE YOU!

Best wishes ...Rik

 

[theo]

marc,
i understand your fear and feeling of being on the spot. i can assure that your post have solicited no suspicion. i had considered posting myself that newcomers might want to restrict their replies to members who have been here for over a hundred posts. i did not because i realized it could have been misunderstood. such a suggestion would only make sense if it was understood that the point was to protect the newcomers from twits like the fraud. the number at over one hundred is arbitrary. it is typically discovered that morons like her are exposed as frauds in less than 25 posts.

the bottom line, marc, is that everyone here who has been here for a while tries really hard to keep it safe for all of us, especially newcomers who are just making that first step. the administration here is second to none, and the brotherhood/community has no equal. you are not a suspect, marc, please stay and continue to share the journey. we are here. i am here. take care.

 

Thanks guys! Mike PM'd me and explained a few things so I feel better. Bitter, but better. I shouldn't have had to start the topic and you wonderful guys should never have had to respond. But thanks!

 

[LupinIII]

Remember you have more important things to worry about that some looney toon.

You are here as part of your healing process. That is what is important. Everything else is popycock (how many times can you use that word in a day...huh...huh...come on who's with me on this one).

 

[Lloydy]

Marc
I understand your concern completely.

It's a major step to come to a site like MS and share your life with strangers, I might have posted a lot over a couple of years but I had to start somewhere and boy - was I scared !
But the good guys, a few are still around as well from that time, made me feel secure.
They listened to what I had to say and replied "yeah, me too" although they had heard it all too often before, they still found the compassion to help me as an individual.
And I still see that happeneing here, I've seen guys who've written so many posts about their experiences reply to a new guy and say it all again, because it makes a difference to the new guy to be talked to directly.

Suspicion of new guys ? well maybe there will always be a bit of that, but this site is far better at the way it treats new guys than most other places I go to. Some of the 4x4 sites I go to are such a tight little club of regulars that nobody's going to get in there - I've tried and given up. And most other Survivor sites seem a bit that way as well. Especially the male - female sites I find, although I'm not trying to criticise other sites, they're just different I suppose.

As far as the Mod team here goes we don't start from a position of suspicion, we start by taking everyone at face value. And I like to think we treat everyone with the same respect here.
But when suspicions arise we go to work.

The first suspicions about Nao were raised soon after he- she appeared, but it takes some time to establish some facts to work on, and we did - even though it took a few weeks.
But that's the nature of being online and not insisting on verifiable identification from everyone who comes here. When suspicions arise we have to go searching, and Ken did just that with the team behind him. Many hours were spent by many people in exposing Nao.

So please don't feel that the new guys are under automatic suspicion, that's not true at all.
In fact it would be counterproductive.
We would soon be sussed out if we did that, and with Survivors having big issues with trust and betrayal people would vote with their feet and leave. They certainly wouldn't trust the Mod's team.

I've said before that what we do is keep the peace here. We don't edit or remove posts unless they offend someone else, and the biggest criticism we face is that we don't do that hard enough. But I certainly feel that I should fall on the side of allowing as much as I can to be said.
I feel that as 'grown up's' we should be able to speak our minds, and if we fall out with someone then we should also strive to repair that damage.
That's what happens out there in the real world, so why shouldn't it happen here ?

I know we've all suffered a blow to our trust in other people, but we should all learn from this and think hard about how we make our judgements on who we trust and how much we trust.
Isn't that a big part of our recoveries ?
We had trust ripped from us as kids, and it takes a lot of work for us to regain our boundaries again, but learn them we must. And if we can learn them here in a strange online environment then out there in the real world we'll all be better equipped.

Dave