Terrified: Going Back to School

Terrified: Going Back to School
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blueelectron9

Registrant
Tomorrow's my first day back in college. I'm starting out slowly and taking one physics course. Then next semester I'll take perhaps two or three courses.

My goal is to get my M.S.E.E. and to be an electronics engineer. I don't run across too many gay engineers, and I'm trying to not feel pre-alienated from my fellow classmates.

I'm having to practice a lot of affirmations like telling myself I'm as good as everyone else, etc. I keep finding myself comparing myself to others, but I know it's just my teenager parts who come forward.

My partner and I got a hot tub spa and I'm amazed at how much my anxiety has decreased. Also, I'm pleased that it is building our intimacy. We've always had good communication and he's very supportive. I feel like I'm letting him down sometimes when I slip into old behaviors at times. I know I feel like I let myself down.

Wish me luck for tomorrow (silently is okay) if you feel like it. I could really use the energy in my favor tomorrow.

Best,
Scotty
 
Scotty,
Best wishes for you tomorrow! For me, going to college was the best thing that I have ever done. I am years from finishing, but being in school helped me find the courage to seek help.
I hope you make a great engineer. Make yourself proud!

Casey
 
Scotty good luck to you. You are going to be a great engineer. You know why?? Because you want to be just that. I dont think sexual orientation has anything to do with being a great engineer.
 
Scotty,

Best of everything to you in your new endeavors!

As for gay engineers...I dated a super-nice, handsome engineer at Illinois when I was in grad school, so I know that there is at least one! :-)

You will do great, I'm sure.

Best wishes,
 
Thanks, guys. Everything went without incident and I found myself sitting back and thinking, "This is really nice--and fun!" Out of a physics class, go figure :)

Well, I'm looking forward to my lab tomorrow and my pre-college anxiety has dissipated and I'm now back in the regular world doing regular world things--a nice departure from doing nothing at home and being on disability.

It's going to take me a number of years, but I'm hoping to make it back to the work force in a career that is pleasing to me.

Thanks again for the encouragement and letting me know that there are other gay engineers out there.

Best,
Scotty
 
Scotty I am so glad that it worked out well for you. I knew it would. Just be comfortable with who you are and the rest will follow.
 
Was anxiety ridden but calming down with each passing class. I'm realizing that I'm the oldest one on the campus, it seems, and that these "kids" in my class ask some really silly questions. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. I yearn greatly for the company of my fellow engineers with whom I can call my peers. I process things on a Ph.D. level in my head, which gets me in trouble in school (I wrote a 96 page feasibility study instead of a 10-page lab report). The study is on its 13th revision with respect to an audio project I started 15 years ago.

I finally got MathCAD and actually put in equations to verify my system's operation. I was glad to find the right calibration levels, too.

I can't wait to get back to the university.

Thanks for all the well wishes,
Scotty
 
SCotty,
I am glad you are enjoying your classes. Hopefully you don't get in too much trouble writing your papers. (I have the nasty habit of correcting everyone, even my professors. THey are SO appreciative of my corrections, haha)
Best of luck. I know you can do it!!!!

Casey
 
Scotty,

Well what a coincidence, I happen to be an undegreed engineer and I work in the area of applied physics. I never finished my college career and I always regretted that. I know that I worked very hard to get where I am now and probably would have anyway even if I was degreed. Maybe it's time for me to go back to school too and finish what I started 39 years ago.

I'm very happy for you. You've come a long way.

Take good care of yourself,

Steve
 
Hi Scotty,

Great to hear things went well for you. I can relate to the whole "not too many gay engineers". I am a third year Engineering student and I very recently came out to my college friends. If an art student came out I dont think anyone wud be too bothered but engineers are more reserved. The word is getting around that one of the Aeronauticl students turned gay (thats me). So far things are going ok. I have some great friends and i think I chose the right time to do it. I am aware of people looking at me in lectures/classes/labs but it doesn' bother me one bit. I think some people are jealous of me and I am positive that out of the other 100 or so engineering students there are a few others that are gay. Maybe we'll see a trend starting. Anyway not to drift off, I hope things continue to go well for you in your studies. You should be proud. I am!

Best Wishes,

Conor
 
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