Take a Breath, Guys

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Take a Breath, Guys

What the hell is going on here? People lying, people quitting, people accusing. Would everyone please take a deep breath, relax, take a break if you need to, and then get back to business. I don't want this to sound like I'm saying that "it's all about me", but I come here to get help and to hopefully help others. All of this bullshit detracts from what this site is all about.
 
Good point Will. There has been a lot of sadness for us for the past week or so. But, there has also been many good things happen in the life of our members.

Now, it is time for us to be really supportive of each other and to rebuild trust. We make friends here. We help each other. We are there for each other when we are happy as well as when we are sad. That is why we love Malesurvivor so much.

We are going to be just fine.

Thanks Will, for focussing us on the purpose of MS.

Bob
 
Yes, I agree with that.

We come here for support and ideas - and we get that.
The crap we can do without.

Lloydy :)
 
Hi all.

I couldn't agree more. I know I've only recently joined, and I didn't have the pleasure! of meeting Lion cub etc, but the support I have recieved through these pages has been so valuable over these last few months. Lets get back to what we joined for, supporting and being supportive of one another.

Mark
 
I couldn't agree more.
I just found out about my SA and I need all the help I can get. I get it from you guys. This site is a godsend and being able to discuss our recovery among friends in a safe evironment is of utmost importance.
I hope I can be a better listner in the future and return the kindness I have found here. Let's keep it safe.
Thanks
mTm
 
:D
Thanks mTm, for your encouragement and kind words, It is good to have you with us. It is good to know you have been helped. This place has been a tremendously healing place for me too.

Keep coming here and if we can be of help you know that you have a whole bunch of brothers who know what it is all about, because we have all been there too.

Much peace to you mTm and again, thanks for being so positive.

Bob
 
Brothers...breathe deep...don't look back...move forward...not backwards...be well stay well
 
If it adds perspective at all, I check the boards pretty frequently during the work week, and I comnpletely missed the whole brouhaha.

That said, trust is not easily given, not easily earned. I respect any protections the moderators and admin have to make to keep this an open yet safe environment. That isn't easy.

Peace to all
 
"What the hell is going on here?" :confused:

Sorry, but I can't help echoing Wills' question. And I'm gonna vent a bit here, so be warned.

*********************VENTING*********************

I think yesterday is the first day I've not been on this site at all in weeks, even more not counting my week away for continuing ed (and I got in some those days too).

I come on this morning & find that Brian, who seemed rather trustworthy from what little I knew him, announcing his departure after some "inappropriate behavior," which I completely missed (chat room, I guess). :eek:

I gotta be straight guys: this shit is really making me sick. And it seems like the more I/we try to flush it down where it belongs, the more it keeps backing up, dammit!

No I'm not blaming anybody for bad plumbing or anything! I'm just disgusted & disillusioned. :o

This place has been a clear stream of water for life to me. It hurts to see all this toxic crap getting dumped in here on us!

But I know dam well that even the purest spring can be polluted. No matter how well it's guarded, protected, monitored, supervised, etc. I know that when this happens the people who drink from stream & the people who supply the power & bring the water in are not to blame.

The only ones to blame are the manufacturers of toxic waste that manage to disguise themselves as legitimate customers in need of our water, only to spew their shit into our stream! :mad:

*****************END OF VENT?*******************
********USE OF CRUDE METAPHOR CONTINUES*********

Sadly, it seems that we will never be able to keep these dumpers of the chemicals of deceit & abuse out of our creek completely. Mores sadly, sometimes one of us somehow gets polluted & dumps toxic stuff on us himself.

This brings me to a sober realization: this could happen to me too. I could become toxic, hurt somebody. Intentionally, I don't think so--but then maybe "they" didn't either (some of em anyway).

However, it also brings me to a more optimistic & hopeful realization, and assurance: I can draw upon the support I need, & offer the support others need, which helps me not to become toxic but to be therapeutic, to myself & to others. It's a positive (as opposed to vicious) cycle. :)

I can help flush the toilets in here, and I can make sure I flush my own toilet & keep my toxic products to myself. We all have them. We've all gotta take a dump once in a while. But we can at least use our own bathrooms (are those "water closets" in England, Lloydy ;) )
& get it out of our systems!

*********************CLEAR**********************

I can do my part to help clean out the trash toxic waste "mangagers" manage to dump in our brook of life. I can do my part not to brook these intruders, to help keep them out, and kick them out quick when they sneak in. I can do my part to help clean up, and to help provide a supportive supply for the replenishment of our little river.

We all can, tho I'm speaking for myself only. We can, becuz we are this site, this stream, this water of life, to & for one another. We are a greater force than toxic intruders like "Lying Crud."

We have great administrators, moderators, and members here, and true brother survivors coming here all the time, adding to this wonderful stream of life that we are, the ongoing stream of male survivors, that will not be stopped up or ruined. Ever! :p

Yeah, I vent & I ramble, but here it is for what its worth. Felt kinda good to me, hope nobody finds this too offensive.

Fact is what's been going on is offensive, its dirty business. Its sickened us all.

But it has not stopped us up or poisoned us!

This remains a stream of living water, living male survivors, offering life to each other & to those who come & and are thirsty for more of life to live.

I am convinced of this, and I damn well intend to do all I can to keep it that way! I'm convinced we have an unstoppable stream of male survivors here with that same kind of conviction.

That's why more & more people keep coming here & joining here. I think that membership number in the corner of my webpage here rises every day, and it thrills me!

I want to make sure that the people coming here new get what I got when I first came: a warm welcome, brotherly hugs, and support, insight & encouragement that flows & just won't quit! :cool: That's what we all want; its what we're here for, why we're part of this stream!

I am extremely proud of our administrators & moderators! I think they've done an incredible job, hard-working & underpaid, volunteers on their own time & dime.

The number of men who join & visit this site is enuf to make it clear that there are a lot of peddlers of toxic product out there. Our administrators & moderators have clearly kept most of them out, and the ones that have gotten in have been quickly revealed & shown the exit door. They've done incredible cleanup & damage control, and continue to work to make this an even safer site.

And so have our many true & faithful members! And I want to personally thank each & every one of you!

Sorry this is so long but I'm leaving it as is. Don't feel there's anything I really wanna change.

And as for me, the terrorists do not win nor do I negotiate with them! They will not stop me from flowing with this great stream of survivors! They try they will get bit!

This is my site, and again, I am marking my territory right here! Trespassers KEEP OUT! Dangerous guard wolf on the prowl!

OOOWWWWWOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!

Wuame
 
Guys
Please don't read what aint there into Brians sudden exit, he's one of the good guys.

I think we're all back on track once again, normal service has been resumed as they say.
But hell it's been a frantic few days !!
And it's the risk we run, any internet based site runs. And it's up to us to take the risk of having a ..... what the hell do you call someone like that ?? an imposter ? whatever, we take the risk by being here. The alternative is hiding under the bed and coming out for food. And WE DONT DO THAT !!

We're survivors, we're here because we made the decision to be strong, being here is strong.
It doesn't matter a curse what stage of recovery we are at, the decision to startrecovery makes us strong.
And some weak shitbag aint gonna take that away from me - or you.

On the count of three and altogether......

OOOWWWWWOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!

Lloydy :D
 
Right on LLoydy! I hope Brian reconsiders. I have emailed him with this sentiment. He is one of the good guys. Maybe others writing him a note might help. >
Time to move onwards.
 
OOOWWWWWOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!OOOWW!OOOWWWWWOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have always seen myself as a dolphin. Peaceful, intelligent, but don't fuck with me or I will ram you with my snoot. My therapist suggested that maybe a wolf mght be better. Coincidence? I don't think so... :)
 
I too missed the negativity of this incident. We are much stronger than one person trying to take further advantage of us. I commend the admin/moderators for taking care of this. It actually makes me feel more secure in coming here. I had no idea how they would've handled something like this...Now I know and that knowledge makes it even easier to come here and support my friends and have them support me. Nice going team. Onward and upward.
 
Hi Men:

:D Lloydy--Good point about Brian. Maybe he felt polluted in the process of trying to help clean up all the crap that was being dumped. Felt responsible for dirtying others becuz as a moderator he didn't stop the flood of sewage.

Speaking as one who has moderated on other forums I can relate to that feeling.

Being soiled doesn't make one a dirty person, any more than being abused or even not stopping abuse makes one an abuser.

But the feeling is familiar to me, probably to many survivors, especially males. "I coulda stopped the abuse" is a feeling we're very susceptilbe too.

That's why I share these thots even tho I may be way off base concerning Brian. I want to encourage us all not to re-victimize ourselves.

And, if I'm not off base, to share that encouragement with Brian, and let him know I hope he considers coming back.

You're right Lloydy my brother. Just being here is a sign & a show of our strength as male survivors. One that we must not yield. For we are needed & we need each other.

Men, the territory is marked!!!

:D Cement: No coincidence, I think your T is wise. I also think you're one damn good wolf! Thank you for sharing the wolf insight & theme with us! I will never forget it!

:D Mark: You're right! We hate to have seen something like the "Lying Cub" incident happen. But it is powerful & affirming & assuring to see how well our administrators & moderators tamed & caged that Lion! I too feel even safer here now!

This place belongs to the wolves! No Lions Allowed! At least not Lyin Cubs!

Take Care Men

Wuame
 
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