Taboo topic at MS--Eroticizing the abuse--Triggers
AlexBoyd
Registrant
--Triggers--
There--I admit it--I sometimes eroticize my abuse.
I have been very hesitant to start a thread about this topic, in large part because it is embarrassing and I fear being judged about it. For me, it is one of the most haunting effects of the abuse. It makes me feel like I must be a pervert to be aroused by memories of what happened. I can think rationally about this problem and realize that fantasizing and masturbating about the abuse runs counter to my recovery; however, it is not a rational thing. It makes me feel so, so alone and, at times, like I don't belong here at MS.
It feels like a forbidden topic here, but it is a real struggle and source of angst for me.
Thanks for listening. I needed to get it off my chest.
There--I admit it--I sometimes eroticize my abuse.
I have been very hesitant to start a thread about this topic, in large part because it is embarrassing and I fear being judged about it. For me, it is one of the most haunting effects of the abuse. It makes me feel like I must be a pervert to be aroused by memories of what happened. I can think rationally about this problem and realize that fantasizing and masturbating about the abuse runs counter to my recovery; however, it is not a rational thing. It makes me feel so, so alone and, at times, like I don't belong here at MS.
It feels like a forbidden topic here, but it is a real struggle and source of angst for me.
Thanks for listening. I needed to get it off my chest.