T feels i need to tell my mom

SMC1972, I too am proud of you. Thinking about my mom, wh is with Jesus now, I don't know if I would have summoned the courage to tell her anything. I am in awe of you. I gu ess I am with Mac. The ultimate decision is yours. I am a Christian and do believe God answers prayers and needs in our lives, even if we don't ask. Sometimes he says yes to a question, sometimes he says no and sometimes He says not yet. give it a bit more time and see what you think. He may just be saying to talk to her, but do it sometime down the road. I am not a T, but please don't spend your time worrying about this. If it is to be done, the opportunity will present itself.
 
It was very brave of you to make that phone call
Thank you, that is what my T said on Friday. I told her not 100% i would have said what i wanted but i sort think i was set to do it.
It could also help her. If she is a loving mother and you are a loving son,
Yeh but i just do not like upsetting anyone no matter what, there feelings come way before mine. It is an issue i am working on but have been this way all my life. My T did point out i have shred a couple things with her and it did not destroy her, she did not breakdown which is true but still not what i think.

I appreciate everyones support.
 
I just sent this text to my mom. I spoke with her this earlier evening but could not say this. Now I am panicking, yes alcohol was involved. I was good all week till tonight but work shit happened.

I know it’s late and I wanted to talk about stuff when I called tonight but just couldn’t. I just want you to know I am not mad about things with Papa or even regret it. I know that’s probably hard to accept cause it has been for me. There are things that I want understand that maybe u can answer maybe you can’t. The biggest thing though is I can’t have U getting upset. Believe me I was blessed in my childhood for the most part. Yes there are things that upset me about it but more from questions of it. I want to talk and ask you things but I can’t handle u being upset or feeling bad.
 
What the fuck did I just do. Yeah part of me wants to discuss her and I but god I fear I be am going to just kill her
 

mac80

Registrant
((((SMC)))) you didn't do anything but open the door for a conversation in a very gentle way. You didn't even commit to having the conversation. And you also made it very clear that you don't want to hurt her. Sorry if it always sounds like I'm giving you advice. Only you know how to do you. It's just when I feel you so agitated, my instinct is to try to calm you down. That said my advice is this lol. What you did here actually was a perfect start and you didn't hurt anyone or push too hard. And it's clear some part of you really wants to have this conversation really badly. While you're going down that road, which it seems you can't help but do, go slowly, and pay attention to how you're taking care of yourself. You are very worried about your mother and her feelings and her safety, and that is fine, and you're doing good with that, but nobody else is going to take care of your feelings and your safety, so you have to. Take it slow and love yourself and make sure you are safe.

((((SMC))))
 

mac80

Registrant
I don't know why I just wanted to say this. I don't really know exactly what it has to do with anything. But today someone who has always loved me and treated me with kindness did something inconsiderate which really pissed me off. And this must be some kind of PTSD trigger for me, because I felt so incredibly guilty about being irritated with him. I had a really stressful afternoon and there was tons of tension in my back. I couldn't calm down until I had talked about it with someone who is a good listener for like an hour and a half. My point is this, I guess. If that stupid little situation did that to me, what you are going through right now must be so much more stressful. So please please take care of yourself and give yourself lots of love and attention and don't push yourself too hard. And get support from as many places as you can.

: )
 
i got this response from my mom tonight. I have not responded. I regret sending the text. I admit i had been drinking. It’s seems to be the only time i say crap to my mom or brother.


Please call me when you can and hopefully I can answer your questions. I know you have so many and I don’t understand somethings either.

I take the blame for everything that happened to you. If I could I would take everything back.

You are such a wonderful and loving son that any mother would be proud of. I know I have let you down in so many ways and I wish that I could take all the pain you have suffered away.

Please call me when you can.

❤
 

KMCINVA

Registrant
i got this response from my mom tonight. I have not responded. I regret sending the text. I admit i had been drinking. It’s seems to be the only time i say crap to my mom or brother.


Please call me when you can and hopefully I can answer your questions. I know you have so many and I don’t understand somethings either.

I take the blame for everything that happened to you. If I could I would take everything back.

You are such a wonderful and loving son that any mother would be proud of. I know I have let you down in so many ways and I wish that I could take all the pain you have suffered away.

Please call me when you can.

❤
SMC
I was happy to read your mother's response, she is acknowledging her faults and culpability in the damage done to you. Most parents would not reach out in such a way because many believe they are "perfect" and any damage done to their child is the other parents fault. She has taken a high road. I hope you will call her and give her the relief she needs to free herself from the burden she carried as a mother. I know mother's who would never admit their culpability let only accept responsibility.

Please reach out to her.

Kevin
 
Thanks she is great but i have not responded which i know is terrible. I just no sure how to like tell her what i really feel what all happened evenb stuff with her that yeah society says we crossed a line yet i acrept it and want to tell her i am ok i know she meant no hArm. I know that is messed up to say but i know she didn’t and i am honestly we were that Close. I think it helped me from really being messed up as i knew she loved me and i could never hurt her. One reason i did not take my own life as a late teen earl 20’s.
 
Be gentle with yourself and simply trust this process. This is an important conversation to have and your mother appears open to having it with you. You can always check back here for support. You're not doing this alone. We've got your back.
 
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